Oh heyyyyyyyyyyyyy God!

Helloooooooooooo everyone!  

(at least I like to think there's an everyone to say hello to...maybe its just one person haha!)

I'm sitting at registration for Surge 5!  How in the world is it already session 5?!!?  This summer is flying by.  This is our 5th session back to back and to say we're exhausted in definitely an understatement.  Also, I decided I wanted to wear myself out a little bit more by spraining my ankle last Thursday.  Well, what had happened was...we were about to go out to lunch so I went to get my car.  Of course I had parked down at the bottom of the hill (because we had to) and I was going to bring my car up to drive other people to lunch!  Well this hill I had to walk down is not my favorite.  I've fallen down many many times and this trip was just like the others.  I was walking with JB and he fell and stood up and I said, "Man, I hate when I fall down this hill!"  What do you know but as I was finishing my sentence, my right ankle turned underneath me and popped SOOOOO loudly and I went rolling down the hill.  This is definitely the worst pain I've ever felt.  However, I was really calm...kind of like the same feeling I got when I got in my car accident.  Honestly, the thought that went through my head was..."oh yay, just one more thing!"  All I could do was scream, no tears!  Crazyyyyy because I love crying but I just couldn't cry at the  moment which is a blessing in disguise.  

Literally the day before, I finally got things worked out from my car accident.  We are settling and things will be good again!  Praise the Lord!!!!!!!!  But hey, let's add another thing to my plate.  All I can think of is James 1:2-4:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

In my Christian Education class last year, I had to do a mini-lesson on this verse.  All I remember was talking about Ashley who worked with me last summer and she would always say, "Consider it pure joy!  Consider it pure joy!  Consider it pure joy!"...even when you definitely don't want to be considering any of this joy!  I don't see the joy in this injury.  Honestly, I'm tired and exhausted and hurting and just feeling like a failure.  I have to depend on others for almost everything and I'm really really bad at that.  I want to be able to do things on my own but I just can't.  I held in my emotions for Session 3 but by the time Session 4 came around, I was so tired of hurting that my sassy side came out.  I guess everyone saw the other side of me?!  I try to be super positive and happy and stress free in the summer so this is dampering what I'm going for.  I'm trying to be as nice as I can but its getting really hard.  To just be in pain ALLLLLLLL the time, it sucks....really bad!  Then when I'm tired from the day, I have to go back to the house I live in and since it was built in the 1920's it doesn't have an elevator!  And then I'm climb up to the 3rd floor where I live.  Its a struggle!

Sorry for the complaints but I'm in desperate need of some encouragement right now!  We still have 4 weeks here (with two little breaks) and I've got to get feeling better soon or I don't even want to see how sassy I might be at the end of the summer!  Also, I'm a little bummed out because I hurt my right ankle of course and can't drive.  I'm supposed to be going to ADPi's Leadership Seminar for all the Presidents today.  There's no way I'd be able to drive 3 hours home then another 3 hours to Atlanta.  I think my ankle would just fall off.  But I know God is using this in His plan.  For some reason I'm supposed to be here for this session and not in Atlanta even though I'm going to be missing out on serious ADPi time!  We have a break next Monday-Wednesday and I would really like to go home but it will all depend on my dang ankle!  I might be chilling at the lake for a couple of extra days but hopefully I'll get to see my fam!!!!!!!!!!!  (wink wink family)  Keep me in your prayers because I'm going to see the orthopedist tomorrow!!!! Praise the Lord because the doctors at the Urgent Care suck as well.  Thanks for reading my blog and I hope you're having a wonderful summer! :)

God is too good to me!

Whoa! I don't even know what to say.  God has seriously been blowing my mind.  

Yesterday was the beginning of the second session of Surge already!  This is CRAZYYYYYY!!!! These sessions fly by so fast :(((  First session was a little rough.  And by a little rough I mean, I just wanted high schoolers sooooooo badly!  I had middle schoolers in my living group (small group) and I just struggle with middle schoolers.  I just don't really have the patience and when I do have the patience its usually because they don't talk.  I know some middle schoolers can be awesome but I still just struggle with them.  I was so sad that everyone else was having an awesome time with their groups and I got the middle schoolers who wouldn't talk!  I know God has a purpose for everything so I knew there had to me a hidden meaning in there.  

Well, last night was the first time with my living group from session 2!  I got high schoolers this week so I was pretty darn excited!  Also Jordan and Tyler from the band were in my group.  So pretty much, my living group is awesome.  At the end, I asked everyone what they're hoping to get out of this week and what they think God's going to teach them.  DANG!!!!  I could just feel the Holy Spirit in that room and I know God is doing awesome work this week!  I left them with a challenge that we'll talk about every day this week.  I'm going to ask them where they saw God today.  I can't even wait to her their responses!!!!! I closed us out in prayer and I just started crying.  It was so great!!!! Y'all know I love to cry, not in a weird way!  Well I was just crying and so happy and so excited to see the awesome things God will be revealing this week.  

The youth are out on missions right now and I'm supposed to be working.  I'm finding it veryyyyyyy hard to concentrate because I'm so tired.  I know its my own fault but still I'm so tired!!! In the past two nights, I've gotten 7 hours of sleep total!  WHOOPS!  Saturday after worship, we went to Cookout with the band and got back at 2 and then for some crazy reason, I'd volunteered to make the week's slideshow.  So I stayed up until 4 making the slideshow.  It was awful...absolutely awful but it was done and that's all that mattered.  So last night I was like, "Yeah! I'm going to go to bed early and catch up on sleep!!!!" and guess what I did?  I stayed up until 2:45!!!! Jamie, Clay, Jordan, and I had a little adventure of a night.  We went to Walmart where Jamie bought a scooter.  She's literally a 7-year-old boy!  (love you grandbaby) We got cookie dough so we could make some cookies.  Then we went to Wells Fargo and McDonalds!  Finally we went back to Colonial where the boys finished some laundry and I made cookies, its what I do best!  Then we just waited and waited for the clothes to be done.  Needless to say, I need some sleep.  Fingers crossed that I get a nap today or this girl might not make it through worship tonight.

I am absolutely loving life and loving the lake!  I can't wait to see where this summer leads me.  God is doing great things!!! 

Happy June!

HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Here I am writing from the crooked chair in the office at Shackford (the building we have our sessions in for the summer) working at Lake Junaluska (take 2)! I can't believe I've already been here 2 and a half weeks and the youth show up tomorrow.  I'm beyond excited.  God is really teaching me a lot already.  Last summer I prayed for a long time for God to open my heart before realizing God had been working in me the whole time.  So this year I knew I had to show up to the lake with an open heart ready for God to get some work done (not that He doesn't work on me at home or anything).  I just believe God brings me to the lake to take the rest of my hectic world away from me so I can get back to where I want to be.  I hope that makes sense, it makes sense it my head at least!  

Anyways, its been a whirlwind of a 2 and a half weeks at the lake.  I was here for a week before my mom called me and updated me on Nana's health.  The hospice nurse told us to get the whole family to here ASAP.  So I drove home in tears just praying she'd be alive still when I got home--she was and we visited throughout the weekend.  We thought it might be Nana's time to meet Jesus but nope!  I'm seriously convinced she's just trying to set the record for Most Times Surviving Hospice.  This was #3!  Go Nana!

Before heading home, we got our individual assignments and I'm leading the missions team in coordinating mission sites throughout the summer.  This is such an exciting position.  While I've been on plenty of mission trips and I love doing mission work, this position is very unique to anything I've done before.  I'm using my phone skills I've acquired in Admissions (thanks Parker!) and trying to work with as many places that need volunteers this summer as possible.  I know God is going to do great things and I've got a pretty great team I'm working with.  

Last weekend was a highlight I must say.  Saturday night, Miranda and I started watched wedding videos while making what seems like 5.6729 billion bracelets for a response we're doing.  So I found some new videos I really enjoyed, maybe you will too.  Also, I've shown many new people just how exciting and precious wedding videos are.  Of course I love love and I love weddings but what I really love most about these videos is I get to see people happy and in love!!!!!  Since my blog only likes YouTube videos, I can only attach a link but I promise you they're worth watching!!!!

http://vimeo.com/27437953

http://vimeo.com/27602415

http://vimeo.com/30823548

http://vimeo.com/29729997

And this one is definitely a top contender as far as wedding videos go....

http://vimeo.com/32350669

That's all for now! I can't wait to update you with all the fun stuff God's opening my eyes to.  Loves ya!!!

a whirlwind of a month...

First off, I'm very sorry I haven't blogged in soooooo long.  So much has happened in this past month!  I'm going to try to cover everything as fast as possible haha!

1. Thyroid Update:

I got some new news during Exam Week, about an hour before I went to take my first exam (of course).  Well there's good news and bad news!  The good news is there were not hot spots or cold spots found on my Nuclear Thyroid Scan.  Praise the Lord!!!! There's no growth, but the scan still showed that my thyroid is indeed enlarged and more so on the right side than the left side still.  The bad news is that my doctors literally have NO idea what's wrong with me!  They are just stumped as to why all my tests show up pretty much normal with no explanation as to my large thyroid, so I've been referred to the endocrinologist and can't get an appointment until the first week of August.  I ask that you could pray just for peace in this time because I've got all summer to just wait...which means all summer to just think about my thyroid.  I know God is using this experience to help me in some way I just have no idea what that way is yet.  

2.  I'm a SENIOR!!!!

I have finished my junior year and on to the next one!  I cannot believe I'm about to be a senior.  Wait, what?!  I feel like I was just graduating from high school and choosing where to spend my 4 years in college.  Little did I know I would end up at Presbyterian College loving everything about it.  Good news: I made the Dean's List both semesters this year!!!!!!  Not to toot my own horn but I'm pretty proud of myself.  This year was by far my hardest and I stuck it out and did the best I've ever done in my 3 years.  I'm going for that 4.0 next year...it'll happen!  

3. Crazy couple of days...

Between exam week and graduation, life was purely crazy!  I had one week at home so I headed home with a packed car on Saturday, May 5 and stayed awake long enough to get some dinner and crashed while watching Sweet Home Alabama.  My week at home was spent taking care of my mommy dearest after her surgery (only 6 more weeks to go until she's 100%)!!  I took a trip up to PC on Wednesday night to get another load from my ginormous room.  Good thing my dad was there to help me out because I just have a lot of crap.  I spent Thursday unpacking and packing for Barbados and the plan was to head back to school Friday night and clean and pack before Graduation on Saturday.  However, to do that I would have to be fully packed for Barbados.  Friday was crazier than it was supposed to be!  All I wanted to do was take Aunt Laura to lunch and have an afternoon to pack before heading back to school for the night.  I had no idea I'd fall into a credit card scam.  Okay, I totally admit that this scam was my fault but keep in mind the craziness of my week!  So this scam started out totally normal, this little old lady (who I was picturing as being precious) called me and asked if I had time for a survey.  I said yes because...well I never really say no to surveys even though I should.  She said she was calling because I had entered some sweepstakes and I enter sweepstakes all the time so I didn't think much of it.  She said she was with Discover which  made sense because I recently got a new Discover credit card.  We did a little survey and she told me she wanted to give me 4 magazine subscriptions just for doing the survey (WINNING!!!).  Then she said it would just cost $5 for shipping...still winning.  Then she threw it that it would be $5/week for 60 months...whoa baby, NOT WINNING ANYMORE!  But by this point she was talking so fast I didn't even know what was going on and she forwarded me to her supervisor and asked that I put in a good word for her, so I did, I mean she was sweet.  Her boss talked even faster and my brain was just spinning.  (Why I didn't hang up, I have noooooooo idea!)  He asked which card I wanted to put the payment on so I said my Discover (the one I just got, the one I thought they were calling from).  He said they couldn't process Discover or American Express right now...again why didn't I hang up?!  So he said I could pay with a VISA or MasterCard.  So I said VISA!  He asked for the number and I gave it to him.  As soon as I heard him running it (it sounded like the old dial up) I freaked out.  I hung up and called my mom apologizing because I knew you're never supposed to give out your credit card number, especially to a company who supposedly has your info already.  I called my bank and cancelled my card and they told me I'd have to come downtown to get a new card and I HAD to have a new card since I was leaving the country 3 days later.  I had lunch with Laura and she helped me take my mind off of things and then it was back to the stressful life.  

Isn't she just the cutest?!  I love her soooooo much.

I rushed all over Columbia like a mad woman.  I got me a new debit card and explained everything to the people at the bank.  They didn't think I was stupid so I started to feel a little better about the whole thing.  Needless to say I didn't make it to PC on Friday night.  I spent the whole night packing and unpacking and stressing.  I woke up super early Saturday morning to get back to PC, pack before graduation, go to graduation, then grab lunch and pack some more before having to work senior check-out.  Gotta love those CA duties when I'm on a time schedule to leave the country!  But everything turned out perfectly!  I had to run back to my room to return some dishes to someone and ended up having extra time to really empty my room out all the way.  It was super depressing and I've never felt so sad to leave a room before.  I don't think I've ever grown to love a room so much...ever.  A lot happened in that room!  It was helpful to have Lucia and Sean (my favorite couple ever) with me as I was leaving my room.  

Look how empty :(

I finished up check out at 5, checked out of my own room and left Clinton by 5:30.  I got home around 6:30, ate dinner with my family and my dad and I were on the road to Charlotte.  Don't you know, we got 10 minutes away from home and I realized I'd left a load of clothes in the dryer!!!! AHHHHH! and my dad wasn't too happy about it...but he loves me so we turned around.  My mom made sure I counted to 10 before heading back out the door to try it again.  Needless to say we had a late start.  We got to Charlotte and I took a 3 hour nap before waking up to get ready to head to Barbados.  I had to be at the airport at 3:30 a.m. so my dad insisted that we leave the hotel (5 miles from the airport) by 2:45 a.m.  Gotta love my dad for making sure I didn't miss my flight!

4. Barbados:

I embarked on my 10 day journey to Barbados on May 23 super duper early in the morning. Both of our planes on the way to Barbados had awful turbulence.  I lost my stomach a couple of times :(  I swear I thought we were going to just fall out of the sky.  Barbados was beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I just love always getting to look out a see the ocean, which is one of the reasons why I love cruises so much so getting to be on land and see the ocean all the time was great!  And it wasn't just like being at the beach because these waters were clear and beautiful!!!  We did so much in our 10 days there its crazy to think it was only 10 days!  We literally drove around the island 3 times.  We got to see how the Bajans live and it was just sooo much fun! Here are some pictures from my trip!

first family picture of many

one of the precious babies we met :)

in Welchman Hall Gulley with Callers

my first experience with sun poisoning after Jammin' all day on the catamaran

in Bridgetown for the day...the day my sun poisoning got the best of me

made a pit stop at the University of the West Indies-Cave Hill book store and they had just the book for me :)

<><><><><><><>

diamond family

roomies :)

5. Craziness before the lake:

To think its been a crazy month, its even crazier to think about my last 48 hours at home for a while!  I was hoping my cousin Courtney to have her baby girl in one of those 48 hours so I would be able to see the baby before August.  Technically Courtney isn't my family, but my mom is best friends with her mom and she has always been like a big sister to me so getting to see baby Gracen was a big deal to me.  God helped me out and Courtney got induced for Thursday the 24th!  (the day I got home from Barbados)  We didn't visit the hospital Thursday because we thought it would be too much of an adventure to get me, my sister, and my mom in her wheelchair to the hospital.  So Thursday I did lots and lots of laundry, unpacked, and repacked!  (Story of my life this summer!)  Friday, we met Gracen.  She is absolutely beautiful and I'm sooooo excited Courtney is finally a mommy!!!!  I just can't get enough of Gracen and I can't wait to see her grow up!!!!!

After leaving the hospital, I went to lunch with Sarah and my mom and then got to see Jimmy for a little and finally give him his shirt from Crush Party...ohh only 2 months late.  After that, I packed some more at home and headed to Augusta to see Anna.  I finally got to see my bestie Anna who has been abroad for 4 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Talk about a great reunion!!!! We hugged for a good while which is saying a lot about me since I'm not one for long hugs.  It was so funny because she kept poking me in disbelief that I was actually there in front of her instead of behind a computer screen.  Awww I just missed Anna soooooo much!!! Its so good to know we're at least in the same country again.  We didn't waste any time and headed straight to the mall...what do we do best other than shop?!  So we went shopping a lot...maybe too much and then went to Takosushi, our favorite place!  We went back to Anna's house and stayed up talking until 2!  It wast just like old times and we're getting super excited for next year to finally be living together again.  We slept for a couple hours and woke up for breakfast at Chick-Fil-A!  I drove home for a cookout and more packing...surprise, surprise!  After the cookout, John came to my house and we were ready to hit the road for the lake!

6. Lake Junaluska: Take 2!

John and I had a road trip up to the mountains and finally arrived Saturday night!  I have been so ready to be here for the past year and can't believe summer is finally here and I'm finally back at this place I call home.  I can't even wait to see how God uses me this summer.  Last summer I focused a lot on trying to open my heart to God and waiting for Him to start working in me while this summer I believe I came with an open heart and  I know every day God will be teaching me and showing me new things!  I already love my new staff and can't wait to see how crazy we'll get together!  Keep checking my blog for updates throughout the summer and keep me in your prayers.  I'm hoping for big things and plenty of slaps in the face from the Big Man Upstairs! :)

Procrastination at its finest...

As if you couldn't tell by now how good I am at procrastinating, I'm pretty darn good at it.  I think I've always always always procrastinated.  I remember even in 4th grade procrastinating on a book report.  Even then my mom would say, "Rachel, don't procrastinate or it'll follow you your whole life!"  I think it must be in my blood because I've never stopped.  Of course procrastination now is much worse than those 4th grade days seeing as I have much more work to do now.  I decided what better way to put off my work that to blog about how I'm putting off my work?  Haha, it works for me!  We are on day 2 of exams here at the Presby and I still haven't had an exam yet.  I have one tomorrow and one on Friday.  I figure since I have to stay until Saturday anyways for CA duties, it doesn't really matter when my exams are.  I think I'm still in denial that its even exam week.  This year has seriously flown by sooooooooooooo fast!  I don't know where the time has gone.  I've been getting so sad that its the end of another year.  Like the next time I come to PC, I'll be a senior!  What the what?!  This isn't happening.  Even though I'm sad my time at PC is going by fast, I think I'm more sad that my year with the freshmen is over.  

See its a funny story...my freshman year I wanted to live in Belk, the all freshman girls dorm, but I got put on Clinton 4th.  It was just 20 of us all sharing the same bathroom and boys had lived there the year before so it wasn't the best of living conditions.  I couldn't have asked for a better hall my freshman year.  Aside from the fact that our RA ran away first semester, we had a pretty ballin' hall!  Some of us were even joking during the housing lottery that maybe we should move back up there for senior year!  So freshman year turned out great even though I wasn't in Belk.  

Sophomore year, I was applying to be an RA and I wanted to be with the freshies.  I asked for Belk but I got my 3rd choice, Laurens (an upperclassman very small dorm).  Most people don't even know Laurens exists.  It only houses 24 girls.  My roomie and I were 2 of the 5 sophomores in the whole building.  Everyone else was older than me. :(  I did end up getting RA of the Year, but I just wanted to be with freshmen since the upperclassmen didn't want to listen to someone younger than them.  Also, it was really hard to develop community in Laurens because we were just about the randomest group of girls you could have put together.  

So for my junior year, I wanted to live in Grotnes, where all my friends wanted to live.  I was being selfish but I just wanted to get to be with all the other girls my age unlike my first two years at PC.  What placement did I get? BELK!  Of course.  Third time's a charm, right?!  Haha, wrong!!! I was beyond mad that I didn't get Grotnes and that I was going to be in the freshman dorm.  But within an hour or so I realized that God wouldn't have placed me there if I wasn't supposed to be in Belk.  So don't you know I'm that junior that's living in Belk for the first time with all these freshmen I've come to love so much!  It was ironic that the day I got my placement was also the day I headed up to Lake Junaluska last February for my interview weekend.  Carolyn, Director of Ministries with Young People, aka my boss lady, asked me about the RA position and I explained to her my frustration and she reminded me that that must be where God wanted me for this school year.  

Carolyn has also been reminding me lately that God won't give you more than you can handle, and He won't leave you alone to handle it.  While I always try to remind myself that God won't give me more than I can handle, I'd never reminded myself that He's not going to leave me hanging either.  Of course I knew this, but I needed the reminder! :)

I knew all summer that God was preparing me to be in Belk.  I was leading small groups all summer and felt like God was preparing me to start a Belk Bible Study, so I did.  I started praying for my residents back in February before most of them probably even knew they'd be coming to PC, much less where they'd be living, or who their CA would be.  I prayed all summer for these girls and got super super super excited to be in Belk.  Most people don't realize this isn't what I wanted but I couldn't say thank you enough to the big man upstairs for putting me in this position!  I'm definitely not saying its been easy because its been hard, very very hard.  I've dealt with serious issues like sexual violence, the loss of a parent, the loss of a friend, girls questioning their sexuality, remembering loved ones who have already passed away, and girls questioning their faith to name a few of the subjects I've covered this year.  I've also had lots of haters, surprise surprise!  Most mornings I wake up to some type of profanity drawing or cussing on my dry erase board on my door.  I've had to be the bad guy more than I've wanted.  But I've built a lot of great relationships with my residents.  Such good relationships that my couch quickly became the "Couch of Tears" as I call it. Girls would just come in, even if I didn't know them well, and just burst in tears.  While I cry a lot, I've never really had to deal with so many other people's tears, especially girls I didn't know very well.  My couch was home to many tears, many more movie nights, and many of nights where I fell asleep and didn't quite make it to my bed.  The Couch of Tears left two weeks ago and it was soooooo sad.  I realize I shouldn't be that sad about a couch leaving but it really added character to my room from 1975 with bright orange carpet and all.  Over the past two weeks, girls have walked in and just stopped in their tracks because they're so used to seeing my couch sitting there.  I seriously wanted to cry putting my couch into storage.  I feel like this year my girls have become my little babies.  I feel like a mom and all my kids have finished their first year of college.  I've gotten to see them mature and learn all the tough lessons you don't want to see anyone have to learn.  I've seen heartache, happy times, and some really sad times.  All in all I've grown with them throughout the year and I got to use my past experiences to try to help them.  I am so thankful for my year in Belk.  I've learned so much about myself and about others.  Its been the hardest year of college but my favorite by far.  Thanks to all my freshies for an awesome year! I'm going to miss them so much!

On another note, keep my mom in your prayers.  She had surgery this morning for her Achilles tendinitis and a bone spur.  She's got a 10 week recovery starting with 3 weeks of not being able to put any pressure on her foot.  If you know my mom, you know she's never one to just sit!  She's always going going going and sitting and taking 10 weeks off from work and life will be hard.  Pray for a speedy recovery and that the surgery works just the way its supposed to and in 10 weeks she'll be pain free forever!!!!  Also if you've been praying for me, thank you thank you thank you!  I'm still waiting on results but I'll keep you updated with my blog.  

Love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll leave you with a new favorite song of mine...

I'm radioactive, y'all!!!!

I figured I would lighten the mood of my blog with a funny title.  What a day today has been.  First off, thank you soooooooooooooooo much for reading my blog (I got over 220 views in the past day, WHOA!), praying for me, and supporting me so much!  Today has been amazing.  I can't even tell you how many encouraging texts, phone calls, and messages I've gotten today.  For reals, thank you so much!  

I'm not one to get nervous but today I was off the charts as far as my nerves go.  Even though I've known today was coming and I'd done my research on what exactly a nuclear thyroid scan is and what it does, what it can find, and everything there is out there about nuclear thyroid scans, I wasn't really prepared for today!  I couldn't fall asleep last night but once I finally did, I decided to sleep as late as I could this morning.  We had to leave the house by 9:00 so I didn't really get to sleep late...but I stayed in bed until my mom made me get up.  I finally got up and got ready for the day.  

I forgot to mention how scattered my brain was yesterday.  While I had packed up my Vera Bradley duffel (y'all know I don't go anywhere without all my Vera Bradley), it wasn't until I was home for an hour when I realized I left my duffel at school.  "Oh, its just a duffel," you're saying.  But let me tell you what all I packed in that duffel...all of my toiletries, including but not limited to my deodorant, perfume, shampoo, toothbrush, toothpaste, and my retainer!!!! (yes, I still wear my retainer)  I left my hair dryer, my straightener, and my make up!  I left all the clothes I had packed, my underwear, and even my bras.  I apologize if this is TMI...but bare with me.  Of course the bra I was wearing home yesterday was a bright red bra with pink polka dots.  You can't just wear that with anything!  Ahhhhh, only I would do that!  Only I would pack a whole duffel and leave it at school.  Good thing I brought home my mound of dirty clothes so I have clothes to wear!   Thanks Mama for washing my clothes in a hurry!!

Back to today...I woke up to the smell of blueberry muffins my mom made me!  They even had Mickey Mouse wrappers...so cute!!  I ate my muffins and loaded up.  The drive to the hospital was nerve-wracking, not only because we were headed to the hospital, but also because I'm still a crazy person on the interstate.  Since my wreck, I haven't recovered 100% and I'll be the first to admit it.  I try to pretend I'm calm, cool, and collected but I'm definitely not.  Every single car that's near mine, I freak out thinking they're going to run me off the road.  My mom was driving today so I was freaking out even more because I had no control over the car...not like we ever really do.  Cars are big and scary and will totally turn on you in a second.  I've learned I just have to close my eyes in car rides so I can't see what's going on around me.  It also helped that the hospital's only like 20 minutes away.  We found where to go in the North Tower and only waited a couple minutes before being taken back.  My nurse came out to get me for the injection.

The first thing I realized about my nurse was that his last name was Dempsey.  For those of you non-Clintonites, you might be thinking I have a crazy love for Patrick Dempsey.  While he is an attractive man, I was instead thinking of Dempsey's Pizza.  I wanted to say something but figured it would be awkward so I just sat there staring at the wall waiting for my nuclear meds.  Then Nurse Dempsey (can't remember his first name since his last name was what mattered to me) asked me if I was from Orangeburg.  

I said, "Yes! Well, my dad's family is from there!"  

He asked if I was related to a Rebecca Fogle.  

While my dad's family is from Orangeburg, other than my dad's immediate family, I don't know any of these relatives that I'm sure exist in Orangeburg.  

I told Nurse Dempsey, "No, but I'm sure we're related.  I remember in 6th grade there was a Rachel Fogle who went missing on my birthday!  Everyone came to school thinking I had gone missing!!!"  

He said, "Oh yeah, that's Rebeccca's sister, I forgot that happened."  

OHHHH MYYYY GOSHHHH hahahahaha I was dying laughing.  

What are the chances we're talking about the same person?!  Not that I have any idea who the other Rachel Fogle is or why she decided to run away from home on my birthday, but I decided this was my moment to ask  about the Dempsey's while we were swapping family stories.  

So I said, "I see your last name is Dempsey, are you related to any Dempsey's in Clinton?  I go to Presbyterian College and there's a pizza place owned by the Dempsey family called Dempsey's Pizza!"  

Of course I was so excited hoping he was a Dempsey, maybe get me some free pizza...but he had no idea what I was talking about.  So I told him if he's ever in Clinton he needs to check out Dempsey's Pizza, maybe he'll get the family discount!  We can only hope!  After our little bonding session, it was time for the injection.  I wasn't sure if I would be injected through an IV or just take pills since I had read about both online.  So my nurse got out a very interesting pill bottle.  When I realized it would be pills I had to take instead of an IV, I got nervous.  I only wish the first time I had to swallow a pill had been recorded for special times like this.  The first pill I ever took was a HUGEEEEE pill.  I was in 5th grade and it literally took me over 15 minutes to swallow just one pill.  It was disgusting to say the least.  Thanks Mama for coaching me through that difficult time!  I could only think back to my first experience with pills when I knew I would have to swallow some pills on the spot.  I had in no way been preparing for this.  And the fact that they'd be radioactive might have been freaking me out a bit...just maybe!  So Dempsey pulled out what looked like a normal medicine container (don't know a better name) and opened the top and it was lined on the inside.  At the center was a metal container and inside that was a normal pill bottle.  He opened the pill bottle and all I saw was what looked like cotton balls.  He picked up the cotton with his gloves and poured the two pills into a small  container.  My one instruction after all of that, "Don't touch the pills!"  I thought WHAT?!?!! So I'm supposed to put these pills into my body but I can't even TOUCH them?  What the what?  But I took them.  There wasn't a replay of my first encounter with pills, Praise the Lord!  I took them like a champ.  I didn't want my nurse to think I was a crazy person!!!  So I left the hospital and went to run errands with my mom. 

We went to the DMV, my mom's doctor's appointment, lunch at Ruby Tuesday's (sooooo good!), and headed back to the hospital.  My appointment was originally schedule for 4 but we ended up getting to come back at 3.  Nurseman told me there would be two tests done.  The first would take about 40 minutes and the second would be an uptake test which would only take 2 minutes.  Okay this was the part I was really freaking out for.  I've had CT scans and MRI's before but I didn't know what to expect this time.  

As soon as I laid down, I decided I would just close my eyes so I wouldn't have to see what was going on.  My plan was going great until...I opened my eyes.  I opened my eyes to see a large thing (lack of words, again) right over my neck.  If I breathed out deep enough I could feel it just hanging there.  Maybe I was just imagining things but I was pretty sure I could feel it there.    They positioned the thing/camera/scanner/no idea what to call it 4 different times and it stayed in the position for 10 minutes.  The first two positions were right above of my neck and then they moved it to the right and then to the left.  You know when someone tells you to be still but you want to move since you know you're supposed to be still?  Yeah, that's how I was feeling.  Very claustrophobic and wanting to move more than anything.  I would just close my eyes, say a prayer or sing a song in my head, and hope to fall asleep.  I kept repeating "Be still and know that I am God" over and over and over.  I would pray that all the prayers being prayed for me would just come over me, that I could feel God's peace, and it all worked, of course because God is good like that!  I would freak out for the first minute or so after they'd repositioned the scanner.  Then I would calm down and fall asleep.  I like to think God uses sleep to calm me down because staying awake just makes me freak out more.  I guess I would wake up and see the scanner there and kind of jump, and then calm down again.  40 minutes finally passed and I was done.  Then we moved on to the uptake test which only took 2 minutes.  Again, I had to be still for a minute straight and all I wanted to do was move!!

Before leaving, my mom had questions for the nurse of course.  I had to get a doctor's note explaining what type of radiation I had.  Since I had nuclear medicine, I could possibly set off the detectors at the airport trying to go to Barbados in a couple weeks.  That is not what we'd like to happen so I have to carry around this note with me.  Can't have anyone thinking I'm carrying nuclear bombs or anything ridiculous like that.  Just me, I'm radioactive hahahaha!  Also, we asked when we would have some results.  

My mom and I had been talking all day about who to call with the results.  I said I want to get the results because well I'm an adult and its my life and my results.  But my mom doesn't want me to get more stressed during exam week.  She wants to get the results and she'll wait to tell me after my last exam.  While her plan sounds like a great one, I'll figure out the results on my own because if she calls me, it'll be good news.  I'll know if she doesn't call me that its not good news.  Also I want to know the results ASAP because I'm a planner and I'm OCD about everything.  I'll totally think out every possible scenario in the next week until I know what's really going to happen.  When I looked online as to how long the test results take from a nuclear scan, it said 1-2 days so I was thinking we'd know at the beginning of next week.  However, my nurse (not Dempsey but she did know more Fogle's that I'm sure I'm related to) said that it would be 5 business days from tomorrow when the tests are done.  So, we're looking at next Friday.  This is good because my last is exam is Friday.  However, this is not good because that's a WHOLE week without answers.  

Okay, y'all I need some prayers for patience and peace.  These are two biggies I'm always praying for but even more so now.  Keep me in your prayers as I finish up the scan with the uptake test again tomorrow.  It won't take long so I shouldn't be as nervous but thinking about the day ahead of me is making me want to freak out already.  Tomorrow night we have formalllllllllllllllllllll!!! I already warned the chapter I'll be looking like a crazy person at formal and just to bare with me.  Based on how supportive they've been since I told the chapter what's been going on on Tuesday, I know they'll be great!  Pray pray pray.  Thanks again for reading my blog, keep me in your prayers. 

 I love you love you love you :)

P.S. Check out the Blessed Text of the Day I got while writing this blog post...

God is too good to me :)

In need of some prayers, please!

I've been putting off writing this blog post for as long as I can.  I mentioned in my post the other day that there were many reasons why I haven't been writing as often as I'd like.  I've been super busy with school, ADPi, and everything else in life, but there's been an added stress for the past month or so.  

I was home for Easter and went out to eat with my mom the next day.  Thanks to Presby, we have an Easter Break!  (just one of the perks of a private school)  So I was eating lunch with my mom before heading back to school and my mom and I were sitting across the table from each other and she asked me what was wrong with my neck.  I had no idea what she was talking about...I mean I had noticed that it looked like I was gaining more weight than normal and it was showing in my neck.  When we touched my neck, it seemed puffy.  The place where it was puffy was my thyroid.  I had been realizing how much weight I was gaining.  From my Spring Break (the first week of March) to Easter, I gained 10 pounds!  I just assumed I was too stressed.  It didn't make sense though because I was actually being cautious of my weight and what I was eating since I'm going to Barbados in May!  I didn't want to admit to anyone how much I weighed or how much weight I'd gained in such a short time.  I also realized I had a lot of symptoms to go with an underactive thyroid and figured this must be why.

My mom called my family doctor that day to get me an appointment set up.  It was all a God thing as to how fast we got me an appointment with the Nurse Practitioner at my doctor's office.  Jennifer, my Nurse Practitioner, graduated from PC so my mom was saying it must have been that Blue Hose bond that made her fit me in her schedule.  My mom had told the nurse trying to find me an appointment all of my symptoms, my age, and how much weight I'd gained and the nurse was on our side!  She went far beyond her duties as a nurse to get me an appointment.  I don't know who she is but I'm very thankful that she got me an appointment!

Thursday, April 12 was my appointment with Jennifer.  I rehashed my symptoms to the nurse and the first thing Jennifer did was feel my neck/thyroid.  She immediately knew my thyroid was enlarged and ordered me to get 6 or so blood tests.  She also decided I should get an ultrasound on my thyroid.  We got the blood test results back the next day and everything seemed normal.  I was really confused as to how my blood tests could be normal but there wasn't anything I could do about that.  Then, I went to get my ultrasound on Monday, April 16.  I was super nervous because well it was just weird.  I wasn't promoting the fact that I was getting an ultrasound because that makes me sound like a teen mom, even though I'm not a teen.  I made sure I emphasized ultrasound on my THYROID!  During the ultrasound, the lady didn't say anything while she was doing it.  Jamie went with me though and watched.  She could only tell that she was measuring things.  It made me more nervous that she wasn't saying anything at all.  I would have rather her keep me updated while she was doing her thing.

Wednesday, April 18 we finally got the results from the ultrasound.  As soon as Jennifer saw the results, she referred me to get a nuclear thyroid scan.  The soonest they could schedule that was for tomorrow and Friday.  This scan is done over two days in three appointments.  I have an appointment Thursday at 10:00 for the injection, 4:00 for the first part of the scan, and then again on Friday morning at 10:00 for the second part of the scan.  Jennifer said the ultrasound showed that my thyroid is enlarged but only on the right side which leads her to believe its a growth.  The nuclear scan will reveal the size and placement of my thyroid and any growth present.  Also, they'll be looking for cold spots...cancer.  So tomorrow (technically today) is the big day.  I'm just ready for some answers.  I'm asking for your prayers.  Prayers for peace because I'm freaking out.  Anytime a doctor says the C-word, I think its bound to happen.  No doctor has every said cancer as a possibility so I'm beyond nervous.  I'm asking for prayers for the doctors and everyone involved that they can find what's wrong with me.  I believe in the power of prayer and if you don't pray, just keep me in your thoughts!  

This is the selfish part of me talking but its so hard to deal with this added stress right now.  This has been on my mind all month and has been distracting me from pretty much everything!  I don't know what is going on or what's going to happen.  I have a full summer planned and I don't really want anyone to mess with those plans, again I know that's totally selfish of me.  I know God will take care of me because He always does.  I think that's pretty much it.  I'll keep you updated of course!  Say a prayer.  God is good, all the time!