I'm radioactive, y'all!!!!

I figured I would lighten the mood of my blog with a funny title.  What a day today has been.  First off, thank you soooooooooooooooo much for reading my blog (I got over 220 views in the past day, WHOA!), praying for me, and supporting me so much!  Today has been amazing.  I can't even tell you how many encouraging texts, phone calls, and messages I've gotten today.  For reals, thank you so much!  

I'm not one to get nervous but today I was off the charts as far as my nerves go.  Even though I've known today was coming and I'd done my research on what exactly a nuclear thyroid scan is and what it does, what it can find, and everything there is out there about nuclear thyroid scans, I wasn't really prepared for today!  I couldn't fall asleep last night but once I finally did, I decided to sleep as late as I could this morning.  We had to leave the house by 9:00 so I didn't really get to sleep late...but I stayed in bed until my mom made me get up.  I finally got up and got ready for the day.  

I forgot to mention how scattered my brain was yesterday.  While I had packed up my Vera Bradley duffel (y'all know I don't go anywhere without all my Vera Bradley), it wasn't until I was home for an hour when I realized I left my duffel at school.  "Oh, its just a duffel," you're saying.  But let me tell you what all I packed in that duffel...all of my toiletries, including but not limited to my deodorant, perfume, shampoo, toothbrush, toothpaste, and my retainer!!!! (yes, I still wear my retainer)  I left my hair dryer, my straightener, and my make up!  I left all the clothes I had packed, my underwear, and even my bras.  I apologize if this is TMI...but bare with me.  Of course the bra I was wearing home yesterday was a bright red bra with pink polka dots.  You can't just wear that with anything!  Ahhhhh, only I would do that!  Only I would pack a whole duffel and leave it at school.  Good thing I brought home my mound of dirty clothes so I have clothes to wear!   Thanks Mama for washing my clothes in a hurry!!

Back to today...I woke up to the smell of blueberry muffins my mom made me!  They even had Mickey Mouse wrappers...so cute!!  I ate my muffins and loaded up.  The drive to the hospital was nerve-wracking, not only because we were headed to the hospital, but also because I'm still a crazy person on the interstate.  Since my wreck, I haven't recovered 100% and I'll be the first to admit it.  I try to pretend I'm calm, cool, and collected but I'm definitely not.  Every single car that's near mine, I freak out thinking they're going to run me off the road.  My mom was driving today so I was freaking out even more because I had no control over the car...not like we ever really do.  Cars are big and scary and will totally turn on you in a second.  I've learned I just have to close my eyes in car rides so I can't see what's going on around me.  It also helped that the hospital's only like 20 minutes away.  We found where to go in the North Tower and only waited a couple minutes before being taken back.  My nurse came out to get me for the injection.

The first thing I realized about my nurse was that his last name was Dempsey.  For those of you non-Clintonites, you might be thinking I have a crazy love for Patrick Dempsey.  While he is an attractive man, I was instead thinking of Dempsey's Pizza.  I wanted to say something but figured it would be awkward so I just sat there staring at the wall waiting for my nuclear meds.  Then Nurse Dempsey (can't remember his first name since his last name was what mattered to me) asked me if I was from Orangeburg.  

I said, "Yes! Well, my dad's family is from there!"  

He asked if I was related to a Rebecca Fogle.  

While my dad's family is from Orangeburg, other than my dad's immediate family, I don't know any of these relatives that I'm sure exist in Orangeburg.  

I told Nurse Dempsey, "No, but I'm sure we're related.  I remember in 6th grade there was a Rachel Fogle who went missing on my birthday!  Everyone came to school thinking I had gone missing!!!"  

He said, "Oh yeah, that's Rebeccca's sister, I forgot that happened."  

OHHHH MYYYY GOSHHHH hahahahaha I was dying laughing.  

What are the chances we're talking about the same person?!  Not that I have any idea who the other Rachel Fogle is or why she decided to run away from home on my birthday, but I decided this was my moment to ask  about the Dempsey's while we were swapping family stories.  

So I said, "I see your last name is Dempsey, are you related to any Dempsey's in Clinton?  I go to Presbyterian College and there's a pizza place owned by the Dempsey family called Dempsey's Pizza!"  

Of course I was so excited hoping he was a Dempsey, maybe get me some free pizza...but he had no idea what I was talking about.  So I told him if he's ever in Clinton he needs to check out Dempsey's Pizza, maybe he'll get the family discount!  We can only hope!  After our little bonding session, it was time for the injection.  I wasn't sure if I would be injected through an IV or just take pills since I had read about both online.  So my nurse got out a very interesting pill bottle.  When I realized it would be pills I had to take instead of an IV, I got nervous.  I only wish the first time I had to swallow a pill had been recorded for special times like this.  The first pill I ever took was a HUGEEEEE pill.  I was in 5th grade and it literally took me over 15 minutes to swallow just one pill.  It was disgusting to say the least.  Thanks Mama for coaching me through that difficult time!  I could only think back to my first experience with pills when I knew I would have to swallow some pills on the spot.  I had in no way been preparing for this.  And the fact that they'd be radioactive might have been freaking me out a bit...just maybe!  So Dempsey pulled out what looked like a normal medicine container (don't know a better name) and opened the top and it was lined on the inside.  At the center was a metal container and inside that was a normal pill bottle.  He opened the pill bottle and all I saw was what looked like cotton balls.  He picked up the cotton with his gloves and poured the two pills into a small  container.  My one instruction after all of that, "Don't touch the pills!"  I thought WHAT?!?!! So I'm supposed to put these pills into my body but I can't even TOUCH them?  What the what?  But I took them.  There wasn't a replay of my first encounter with pills, Praise the Lord!  I took them like a champ.  I didn't want my nurse to think I was a crazy person!!!  So I left the hospital and went to run errands with my mom. 

We went to the DMV, my mom's doctor's appointment, lunch at Ruby Tuesday's (sooooo good!), and headed back to the hospital.  My appointment was originally schedule for 4 but we ended up getting to come back at 3.  Nurseman told me there would be two tests done.  The first would take about 40 minutes and the second would be an uptake test which would only take 2 minutes.  Okay this was the part I was really freaking out for.  I've had CT scans and MRI's before but I didn't know what to expect this time.  

As soon as I laid down, I decided I would just close my eyes so I wouldn't have to see what was going on.  My plan was going great until...I opened my eyes.  I opened my eyes to see a large thing (lack of words, again) right over my neck.  If I breathed out deep enough I could feel it just hanging there.  Maybe I was just imagining things but I was pretty sure I could feel it there.    They positioned the thing/camera/scanner/no idea what to call it 4 different times and it stayed in the position for 10 minutes.  The first two positions were right above of my neck and then they moved it to the right and then to the left.  You know when someone tells you to be still but you want to move since you know you're supposed to be still?  Yeah, that's how I was feeling.  Very claustrophobic and wanting to move more than anything.  I would just close my eyes, say a prayer or sing a song in my head, and hope to fall asleep.  I kept repeating "Be still and know that I am God" over and over and over.  I would pray that all the prayers being prayed for me would just come over me, that I could feel God's peace, and it all worked, of course because God is good like that!  I would freak out for the first minute or so after they'd repositioned the scanner.  Then I would calm down and fall asleep.  I like to think God uses sleep to calm me down because staying awake just makes me freak out more.  I guess I would wake up and see the scanner there and kind of jump, and then calm down again.  40 minutes finally passed and I was done.  Then we moved on to the uptake test which only took 2 minutes.  Again, I had to be still for a minute straight and all I wanted to do was move!!

Before leaving, my mom had questions for the nurse of course.  I had to get a doctor's note explaining what type of radiation I had.  Since I had nuclear medicine, I could possibly set off the detectors at the airport trying to go to Barbados in a couple weeks.  That is not what we'd like to happen so I have to carry around this note with me.  Can't have anyone thinking I'm carrying nuclear bombs or anything ridiculous like that.  Just me, I'm radioactive hahahaha!  Also, we asked when we would have some results.  

My mom and I had been talking all day about who to call with the results.  I said I want to get the results because well I'm an adult and its my life and my results.  But my mom doesn't want me to get more stressed during exam week.  She wants to get the results and she'll wait to tell me after my last exam.  While her plan sounds like a great one, I'll figure out the results on my own because if she calls me, it'll be good news.  I'll know if she doesn't call me that its not good news.  Also I want to know the results ASAP because I'm a planner and I'm OCD about everything.  I'll totally think out every possible scenario in the next week until I know what's really going to happen.  When I looked online as to how long the test results take from a nuclear scan, it said 1-2 days so I was thinking we'd know at the beginning of next week.  However, my nurse (not Dempsey but she did know more Fogle's that I'm sure I'm related to) said that it would be 5 business days from tomorrow when the tests are done.  So, we're looking at next Friday.  This is good because my last is exam is Friday.  However, this is not good because that's a WHOLE week without answers.  

Okay, y'all I need some prayers for patience and peace.  These are two biggies I'm always praying for but even more so now.  Keep me in your prayers as I finish up the scan with the uptake test again tomorrow.  It won't take long so I shouldn't be as nervous but thinking about the day ahead of me is making me want to freak out already.  Tomorrow night we have formalllllllllllllllllllll!!! I already warned the chapter I'll be looking like a crazy person at formal and just to bare with me.  Based on how supportive they've been since I told the chapter what's been going on on Tuesday, I know they'll be great!  Pray pray pray.  Thanks again for reading my blog, keep me in your prayers. 

 I love you love you love you :)

P.S. Check out the Blessed Text of the Day I got while writing this blog post...

God is too good to me :)

In need of some prayers, please!

I've been putting off writing this blog post for as long as I can.  I mentioned in my post the other day that there were many reasons why I haven't been writing as often as I'd like.  I've been super busy with school, ADPi, and everything else in life, but there's been an added stress for the past month or so.  

I was home for Easter and went out to eat with my mom the next day.  Thanks to Presby, we have an Easter Break!  (just one of the perks of a private school)  So I was eating lunch with my mom before heading back to school and my mom and I were sitting across the table from each other and she asked me what was wrong with my neck.  I had no idea what she was talking about...I mean I had noticed that it looked like I was gaining more weight than normal and it was showing in my neck.  When we touched my neck, it seemed puffy.  The place where it was puffy was my thyroid.  I had been realizing how much weight I was gaining.  From my Spring Break (the first week of March) to Easter, I gained 10 pounds!  I just assumed I was too stressed.  It didn't make sense though because I was actually being cautious of my weight and what I was eating since I'm going to Barbados in May!  I didn't want to admit to anyone how much I weighed or how much weight I'd gained in such a short time.  I also realized I had a lot of symptoms to go with an underactive thyroid and figured this must be why.

My mom called my family doctor that day to get me an appointment set up.  It was all a God thing as to how fast we got me an appointment with the Nurse Practitioner at my doctor's office.  Jennifer, my Nurse Practitioner, graduated from PC so my mom was saying it must have been that Blue Hose bond that made her fit me in her schedule.  My mom had told the nurse trying to find me an appointment all of my symptoms, my age, and how much weight I'd gained and the nurse was on our side!  She went far beyond her duties as a nurse to get me an appointment.  I don't know who she is but I'm very thankful that she got me an appointment!

Thursday, April 12 was my appointment with Jennifer.  I rehashed my symptoms to the nurse and the first thing Jennifer did was feel my neck/thyroid.  She immediately knew my thyroid was enlarged and ordered me to get 6 or so blood tests.  She also decided I should get an ultrasound on my thyroid.  We got the blood test results back the next day and everything seemed normal.  I was really confused as to how my blood tests could be normal but there wasn't anything I could do about that.  Then, I went to get my ultrasound on Monday, April 16.  I was super nervous because well it was just weird.  I wasn't promoting the fact that I was getting an ultrasound because that makes me sound like a teen mom, even though I'm not a teen.  I made sure I emphasized ultrasound on my THYROID!  During the ultrasound, the lady didn't say anything while she was doing it.  Jamie went with me though and watched.  She could only tell that she was measuring things.  It made me more nervous that she wasn't saying anything at all.  I would have rather her keep me updated while she was doing her thing.

Wednesday, April 18 we finally got the results from the ultrasound.  As soon as Jennifer saw the results, she referred me to get a nuclear thyroid scan.  The soonest they could schedule that was for tomorrow and Friday.  This scan is done over two days in three appointments.  I have an appointment Thursday at 10:00 for the injection, 4:00 for the first part of the scan, and then again on Friday morning at 10:00 for the second part of the scan.  Jennifer said the ultrasound showed that my thyroid is enlarged but only on the right side which leads her to believe its a growth.  The nuclear scan will reveal the size and placement of my thyroid and any growth present.  Also, they'll be looking for cold spots...cancer.  So tomorrow (technically today) is the big day.  I'm just ready for some answers.  I'm asking for your prayers.  Prayers for peace because I'm freaking out.  Anytime a doctor says the C-word, I think its bound to happen.  No doctor has every said cancer as a possibility so I'm beyond nervous.  I'm asking for prayers for the doctors and everyone involved that they can find what's wrong with me.  I believe in the power of prayer and if you don't pray, just keep me in your thoughts!  

This is the selfish part of me talking but its so hard to deal with this added stress right now.  This has been on my mind all month and has been distracting me from pretty much everything!  I don't know what is going on or what's going to happen.  I have a full summer planned and I don't really want anyone to mess with those plans, again I know that's totally selfish of me.  I know God will take care of me because He always does.  I think that's pretty much it.  I'll keep you updated of course!  Say a prayer.  God is good, all the time!

This is Home

I've been meaning to write this blog post for weeks now...but life has been so crazy, I'll fill you in in the next post.


So in case you haven't heard I'll be working at Lake Junaluska for another summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Also, if you can't tell I'm beyond excited about this. Of course I was assuming I'd be hired again but nothing was confirmed until this month.  


Today's blog post comes from this song by Switchfoot, "This is Home."

I heard this song for the first time last summer while at the lake and knew it couldn't be any more appropriate.


See, I was that senior in high school who wanted to avoid college at all costs.  I asked my mom if I won the lottery if I could just not go to college altogether.  Why I thought that was a smart plan, I'm not sure but good thing she didn't take me too seriously!  Also, its probably a good thing I didn't win the lottery because I totally would have used that as my excuse to stay at home.  I realize I am probably the only crazy person who didn't want to go to college but I was so content with my life at home that I couldn't imagine life getting any better/I was scared that life might get worse once I left.  I didn't want to leave my family, my best friends, my boyfriend, or the life I had in Irmo.  


Who knew just months from my graduation I could be so happy at Presbyterian College that I would call it home as well?


I think my mom's heart might have dropped a little the first time I referred to PC as "home".  I don't blame her, I mean home has always been where our family's been, more specifically where she's been, so calling PC home was a big step for me!  While I wanted to avoid college and keep living my high school life, no one was going to let that happen.  Coming to PC I was excited, nervous, wanting to vomit, sad, anxious, more excited, a little scared, and just a complete mess!  But, God gave me a calming feeling on the first day of classes.  I'll never forget it.  I was with Anna, Blythe, Sarah, and I think Callie walking from Springs to Clinton.  We were underneath the big tree behind Richardson when I got this calming feeling.  I just knew that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.  From that moment, I didn't question my place at PC because I knew God was going to take care of me here.  


In 2009, I had two homes.  Irmo and Presbyterian College.  I thought that would be all the "homes" I could have until getting out into the real world and making a new home for myself.  I was wrong!


It was the summer after my freshman year and I decided to work at home all summer.  I don't think I really entertained the thought of being somewhere else since there was so much going on at home.  I figured I needed to get everything sorted out at home.  I thought that was a genius idea but I learned rather quickly that Irmo wasn't the same.  I guess really I wasn't the same so Irmo couldn't have been the same.  All of my friends had had different experiences in our year apart.  We all made new friends and new homes but I expected everything to be just the same!  My family had changed in the year without me at home.  While everything and everyone had changed I decided to be naive and pretend like nothing had changed including certain relationships that had very much so changed.  The day I got home I started thinking about the next summer.  All of a sudden, the thought in my head was "Lake Junaluska".  Where did this come from?  Well, God of course!  I believe God was giving me a heads up so I could live with the fact that I'd be 3 hours from home for a whole summer.  Since PC is less than an hour from home, going 3 hours away would be a big change.  I immediately went to Lake J's website and looked into the application process and timeline. I told my family all summer that my plan was to be at Lake Junaluska the following summer.  I knew that was God's plan for me.


Even though I had been preparing myself for a year that I would be living at the lake for 8 weeks and being 3 hours from home, I don't think it hit me until the week before I left.  I was beyond excited for my summer and to see everything God had for me but I just hadn't really realized that I would be away from home for so long.  I would assume whoever you are reading this knows me and knows how much I love my family, but just in case I need to reiterate it, I LOVE MY FAMILY!!!!! Maybe a little too much for the average 21-year-old, but I beg to differ.  My family means the world to me and I really cherish my time with them.  Once I got to the lake, I felt like I fit right in.  I loved my time there and didn't want to leave after my 8 weeks was up.  Again, I think my family realized how much I was loving it when I would forget to call them or they'd call me during worship and I would forget to call them back.  They knew I had been called to the lake and they gave me my space.  I knew from the second I had to leave the lake that I would want to be back for this summer but didn't really think about it until the end of the fall semester.  When I realized that every week when leaving Spartanburg, I had the choice to head towards Asheville (the lake) or Columbia (back to PC), and I always wanted to go to the lake instead of school, I knew the lake was where I HAD to be or I might seriously go a little crazy (as if I'm not crazy enough!!)

After one of our walks to the cross this summer

Our staff from last summer!

I was lucky enough to get to spend New Years at Lake Junaluska and couldn't imagine a better place to see one year end and another begin.  Getting to reflect on 2011 at the lake was awesome!!!!  Then getting to see youth worshiping the Lord as 2012 came in was even more awesome!!!!!!!!  Now that God has revealed so much to me from last summer, I can't wait to see what God might have for me this summer.  Of the staff for this summer, only 4 of us are returning, and I am the only girl returning, which is so crazy because last summer the girls outnumbered the guys.  I even get to work with my grandbaby, Jamie.  (for those of you taking this literal, not my real grandbaby, that would be really unrealistic and creepy, just my grandbaby in ADPi)  Jamie and I are literally going to be together allllllll summer.  We are going to Barbados together for 10 days in May then to the lake we go, then we'll have about a week at home then we have CA Training back at school.  We might spend 2 weeks apart all summer.  But we love each other so we'll totally love it!  Also, I can't wait to get to see my bestie every day this summer!!!!!

Me and my bestie, John!!!!!!!

The first thing I saw when I drove back up to the lake for New Years.

 Only 35 days until the lake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!