Remembering my Angels

I've been a terrible blogger this past month and for that I'm very sorry.  I've had every intention of sitting down and writing exactly what I'm thinking but it hasn't been that easy.  I had surgery November 19th and I was completely out of it until I had to go back to school on November 25th.  That next week was what we call "Hell Week" as the last week of classes and the week measured up to its name for sure.  I was so busy doing all my school work that blogging didn't really cross my mind, I was lucky enough to get some sleep!  Also during that week was ADPi's Initiation so we had lots of fun activities that kept me busy and served as a great distraction from my school work!  I never finished my November challenge of thankfulness that I started.  I had planned to blog every day about what I was thankful for and I did alright for the first half of the month.  I was still finding things in my daily life that I am very thankful for but life got a little difficult to keep up with a blog!  

_____________________________________

During my last week of school work came November 29th.  November 29th is a day that I will always remember.  You see, on November 29, 2003, my best friend, Erin Barber, became my guardian angel.  It still shocks me that its been 9 whole years since I've seen her precious face, heard her sweet sweet laugh, or gotten one of her great big hugs!  Erin was a remarkable individual and I'm beyond thankful to have had the opportunity to even know her, much less be her best friend.  

Erin and I just happened to be in Mrs. Davis' 1st grade class together at Nursery Road Elementary School.  Our paths before that point were very different though.  I had had an normal childhood, was in my 3rd year of dance at Dance World, and had just gotten rezoned from Irmo Elementary to Nursery Road for 1st grade.  Erin, on the other hand, had already conquered much more than I could have imagined at that point.  Erin had leukemia as a child and was technically a year older than us, but had gotten a little behind in school.  As soon as Erin and I became friends, we were immediately best friends!  We just clicked.  We used to have so so so much fun together.  Our typical weekend routine would consist of me spending the night with Erin on Friday, waking up Saturday and going shopping and spending the day together, then begging my mom to let me stay for another night!  I don't even know how many weekends we had like that, but I cherish those special memories so much!  Erin's family is the absolute sweetest and there was never a dull moment in the Barber house between their pets, games, and huge sense of humor that all of the family has!  Erin stayed at Nursery Road through 3rd grade until she moved to another school for 4th-7th grades, but we remained close.  

It was the summer before 6th grade and I called Erin after vacation to see when I could bring the present I got her over.  She told me that she had had a seizure while I was gone.  At that point, I had no idea what a seizure was but the look on my mom's face when I spoke the word showed me that it was serious.  It turned out that Erin had a brain tumor and she ended up beating it!

Erin was the most thoughtful person you'd ever meet.  She would be at the hospital just hours after a surgery or treatment and she'd call me just to talk!  We were best friends and you can't go too long without catching up with your best friend.  We'd always talk about our annoying siblings, boys (of course), and what our next adventure would be together when Erin was out of the hospital.  Erin never let cancer define her life!  Erin really fought cancer the rest of her life at that point.  She was diagnosed with her final brain tumor in the fall of 2003.  But this tumor was different, it was inoperable.  Even though Erin was fighting for her life, she fought with such a love for life.  She wasn't giving up or giving in and that was obvious to anyone who knew Erin.  By that point, Erin had been through so much chemo, radiation, and steroids trying to fight off the tumor that she didn't look like most 7th graders are just dying to look.  Instead, Erin was losing her hair and gaining weight, but you better believe she was even more beautiful than before!  Erin still lit up the room with all that she was.  When it came down to it, I stuck by her side and remained her best friend until her dying day.  At the end, the days were very hard for her.  She didn't even get to celebrate her last Thanksgiving due to the pain she was in.  Erin died the Saturday after Thanksgiving and I'll never forget that day.

I was sitting at my dining room table taking my practice SAT because the next weekend I'd be taking the SAT as part of the Duke TIP Program.  My neighbor, Mrs. Kim, came to the door and I could tell something was wrong.  I heard my mom and Mrs. Kim whispering in the den but tried to focus on what I was doing instead.  I got such a terrible feeling that I can't even put into words.  The feeling took over my whole body and I couldn't sit still any longer, I had to figure out what was going on.  I walked to the den only to see my mom and Mrs. Kim in tears.  My mom sat me down before telling me that Erin had died that morning at home in her mom's arms.  I remember her grandma, Yia Yia, telling me that Erin was just in so much pain and she said, "Yia Yia, I don't think I can do this much longer."  Yia Yia reassured her that she wouldn't have to.  That's when Erin became my guardian angel. 

Erin died on Saturday morning and her funeral was the following Monday.  One cool connection that we had with Erin outside of school was that my Nana and Mrs. Susan (Erin's mom) used to judge art together at the fair.  That's how Nana fell in love with Erin too.  Nana couldn't come to Erin's funeral but she came to the burial to be with my mom and I.  I remember it was starting to rain and Nana was there to hold me while I cried watching my best friend really leave.  Nana wiped my tears away along with hers.  It was so special to me that Nana could be there with me.  She knew just how amazing Erin was as well and wouldn't have missed it.  

_____________________________________

On Friday night after Initiation, I was at dinner with P3 (the best Diamond Family ever and a couple other girls who decided to come to dinner with us).  We were at House of Pizza when my mom called me.  We had just talked about 30 minutes beforehand so I wasn't really sure why she'd be calling me again so soon.  My mom told me that Nana had died.  That day was November 30th.  November 30th is another day that I will always remember.  You see, on November 30, 2012, one of my best friends became my guardian angel.  The cry I let out to this news was the same as when my mom told me Erin died 9 years ago.  

I also remember the first time I cried about losing my Nana.  In March of 2008, this whole crazy adventure called Alzheimer's began.  I remember I was watching "8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter" while my parents were with Nana and Laura and I don't remember where Sarah was.  The episode that was on was the episode that the father's character dies.  I cried knowing that I wasn't getting my old Nana back just like the family on the show wouldn't be getting their dad back.  That was the first time I realized Alzheimer's would change all of our lives. 

 Growing up, we were always at Nana and Laura's house.  Once my mom went back to work after her maternity leave, I stayed with Nana during the day until I was old enough for daycare.  I would watch soap operas with her during the day, we'd have homemade spaghetti on Thursday nights, Nana would pick Sarah and I up from daycare when our parents couldn't get there in time, and Nana and Laura became our favorite babysitters when our parents would have a date night.  I took many naps in her loving arms and I absolutely adored my grandma!  Nana and I shared a special bond right from the beginning.  I could listen to her sing or tell stories all day long.  I could sit next to her on the organ bench and watch her play for hours and hours.  Nana even taught me how to play the organ and I would get lazy and not want to play the chords.  As soon as Nana would leave the room, I'd stop playing chords and then start back up as soon as she could see me...even though she could obviously tell the difference!  She would get so mad at me for not playing them because she knew that I could, I was just being lazy!  Every time I was sick or even had a headache, I'd call Nana and she'd say a prayer for me over the phone reassuring me that I'd be feeling better much sooner.  Nana was also into helping me interpret my crazy dreams.  She had many dream books and would help me figure it out the best she could.  Some of my favorite memories with Nana come from the summers Sarah and I stayed with her during the day.  Between 3rd grade and 7th (I think), we stayed with Nana during the days while our parents were at work.  We'd head over and Nana would make us breakfast.  Around 9:00, Laura would be picked up to go to her adult daycare.  Then we'd have our first snow cones at 10:00.  Yes, I said our first snow cones because our second snow cones came at 3:00 around the time Laura came back home.  Nana would always make us lunch, too!  Another perk about Nana and Laura's house was that there were sooooooo many Little Debbie cakes.  You couldn't walk into that house without eating something, and it would probably be a Little Debbie.  I'm pretty sure one of my first words was "Debbie" thanks to my early love for these sweet treats.  (Debbie came after Nana of course!)  During the summers, we'd get to go grocery shopping at Walmart and Nana would buy us the randomest stuff we'd find because we just couldn't live without it, duh!  Nana has always been such a giver.  She couldn't really afford to buy us that random stuff but because she loved us and loved to make us happy, she would do what she could to put a smile on our face.  We went on lots of lunch dates to Ryan's and Cici's Pizza during those summers as well.  There are so many wonderful memories I have of those fun days that I'll cherish forever.

The past 5 years of memories that I have of Nana aren't quite the same as the 16 years before that.  I have always hated cancer (mainly because it took my best friend from me).  I watched Erin, along with other family members, suffer from cancer and I hate that terrible disease.  But after watching Nana suffer from Alzheimer's, I think I found something to hate more than cancer.  I never really knew anything about Alzheimer's except that old people got it and they would just forget people, things, and memories from their life.  However, watching Nana forget her loved ones, favorite things, and precious memories put a whole new light on the real side of Alzheimer's.  The thing most people don't realize about Alzheimer's is that its like your brain is calling the shots on what happens.  I realize our brains already do that, but this is a whole new level.  In March of 2011, Nana forgot how to walk.  It was just one day, she didn't know how to walk.  She didn't remember how to move her legs so she became wheelchair bound.  Imagine the frustration that you can't remember how to do something you've been doing for the past 80+ years.  I think at that point, I realized this disease was taking over more than her memories.  It was around then when I asked my mom how Nana would die.  She explained to me that usually Alzheimer's patients forget how to swallow and can't eat or drink so they can't live any longer.  Again, it really hit me that this was a disease that was taking over Nana's entire life, not just her brain.  We knew the whole time that it was just a matter of time.  It was hard watching someone decline in every way possible and not knowing exactly how much time you have left.  I believe it was that spring of 2011 that Nana was put on hospice for the first time.  I immediately thought that the end was near, we all did.  However, Nana outlived hospice just like she did for the next year and a half.  I told people Nana was secretly going for the award to outlive hospice the most!  We learned early you have to make light of some of the situations to keep your head up.  Nana was a classic case of Alzheimer's and 3 days before she died she forgot how to swallow.  She had been losing weight all along and while normally she would have been about 170 pounds, size 16 woman, when she died my mom didn't even expect that she weighed 80 pounds.  There were a couple times that Nana didn't remember me over my visits in the past 5 years.  Some visits I would walk in as Rachel and be her sister, Katie; her daughter, Debbie; and an old high school friend all in the same visit. Those visits were my least favorite.  I would always leave in tears those days knowing that Alzheimer's took over a little bit more of her brain.  All I could hope for was that she'd know who I am before I left so I could hear one more "I love you Rachel."  Watching my strong-willed matriarch Nana slowly become weaker and weaker was heartbreaking.  I still hate Alzheimer's but I can bet you my family is going to fight this disease with the hope and prayer that we don't have to watch anyone else we love suffer like Nana did.  We're praying and fighting for a cure!

It gets complicated because I'm learning so much about death from the person who taught me so much about life.  She was there for my first steps, my first words, my first days of school, and first holidays.  She heard about my first crush, first boyfriend, and first heartbreak.  She got to be one of the first people to ride in the car with me when I got my driver's license and she's always been one of my favorite "I love you's".  She even helped me decide where to go for college.  I'm so sad she doesn't get to cheer me on as I walk across the stage in May, she doesn't get to meet my future husband, or be at my wedding.  She won't get to hold any of her great-grandchildren and she won't get to see just how big of a legacy she left behind.  She will get to do all of those things from heaven now, but the selfish human being I am still wants her with me on Earth.

I lost a best friend a month ago.  While most of her has been gone for 5 years, the final goodbye hurt the most.  All I could do was cry and then I could hear Nana in my head saying, "Come on, Rachel, dry up those tears!"  I know that Nana isn't suffering anymore and she's happy and pain free!  She doesn't need a wheelchair up in heaven and Alzheimer's no longer can define her life.  Nana is up in heaven playing some of her favorite hymns on the organ and most importantly, my Nana got to meet Jesus, a day she's been waiting for for so long!  Since this was the first death that's really hit me since Erin died in 2003, I started to see and understand things so much better.  My faith has come so far since Erin's death.  When Erin died, that's when I really gave my life over to Christ and could call myself a Christian.  Now I can look back and see just how much I've grown.  Everything Reverend Nates was saying at the funeral, they were all the things I rejoice about as a Christian in my daily walk.

Growing up Nana would always say she was going to live to be 105, so I started saying I was going to live to be 105, just like my Nana!  I guess she was in her 70's when she started saying she didn't want to live to be 105 anymore.  She didn't think she could handle all the terrible things in the world that long and who could blame her?!  Another thing about my Nana that I'm finding comfort in is that Nana believed before we're born, we know/agree to the life we're going to live and how we would die one day.  When she would talk about this I would always picture the baby me signing a contract with God but that's just the picture I'd get in my mind.  I'm not saying you have to believe this, but its helping me to remember this is what Nana believed in wholeheartedly.  Its not like we went through life knowing what would happen, but we made this agreement with God before ever arriving on Earth.  I find comfort in this because as hard as it was to watch Nana suffer from Alzheimer's, this had to be how she died.  This was the only way things could have worked out.  Nana and Laura had never spent a night apart until Laura was 45, the same night I cried for the first time about losing Nana back in 2008.  Laura was heartbroken at first without Nana because they weren't just mother and daughter, they were best friends!  Had Nana died suddenly from something, Laura wouldn't have been able to handle it.  Nana had to have the long battle with Alzheimer's to make sure that Laura could handle life without Nana, her very best friend, mother, and caretaker.  Even when Nana was having her worst days with Alzheimer's, she was always looking for Laura, asking if Laura was okay, and knowing that Laura was her number one priority.  No matter who she could or couldn't remember, Nana never forgot who Laura was (which was always one of my biggest fears).  Nana wasn't going to agree to leaving this earth until she knew Laura was okay.  This clicked in my mind the week after Nana died.  I was trying so hard to make sense of why Nana suffered from this terrible disease, just like I have the past 5 years.  I couldn't understand how it was fair for such a strong woman to become so weak in the end, but it makes sense and brings me comfort.   

Another image I hold on to (I'm a very visual person in case you didn't know) is  an image of Jesus reaching His arms out to His child (me).  This is an image I always go back to when I sing Hillsong's Forever Reign.  There's a line that says, 

"I'm running to your arms, I'm running to your arms.  The riches of Your love will always be enough.  Nothing compares to Your embrace, Light of the world forever reign."  

This is just one of those songs that always gets me.  While I'm an almost 22-year-old woman, I am still God's child who can go running into His arms.  Nothing in this world can compare to His embrace!  This image in my mind is so precious to me and the week after Nana died, I heard this song.  I thought, Nana got to do that for real!  She got to run into Jesus' arms spread wide open.  He got to welcome Nana with His arms open and ready for her to join Him in paradise!  That image that I hold on to became even more special knowing that God does that when He calls His children home!!!  That's what Jesus can do, He offers comfort to those of us who are left behind.  I'm not saying death is easy, especially when you love someone so much, but knowing that Nana is in the place we all long to go to one day makes it a little easier!

_____________________________________

Having my 13-year-old best friend die just 2 weeks before her 14th birthday and one of her favorite times of the year made Christmas very difficult that year. Having my sweet Nana die less than a month before Christmas made the holiday difficult this year.  Just as Erin and Nana would be telling me if they were still here, we have to keep moving with our own lives.  It might be a little painful to remember the special memories and traditions we once shared, but now we have to continue Christmas, even without our loved ones by our side.  It was pretty hard for me to get into the Christmas spirit this year, but we all have those years.  I miss my sweet angels but I know they're always looking out for me!  I don't think death will ever be easy to handle or understand, but we can learn so much about how to live life through death.

Still thankful for my Belk girls

Even though I no longer live in Belk with all of my favorite freshmen girls, I still hold them all close to my heart.  Being a senior living away from all the girls who lived in the same building as me gets a little difficult because they aren't in my daily life anymore.  They can't just pop their head in like they used to be able to.  So last Thursday, I decided I was going to invite some of my girls over and make dinner for them!

What a success! I made chicken tetrazinni and everyone loved it!  We even did our high's and low's of the day which was always one of my favorite parts of the Belk Bible Study I led last year!  Being together was like no time had even passed.  I'm so very thankful for my freshmen (even though they're sophomores now).  They'll always be my freshmen who I love so much!

Thankful for my 3rd Graders!

Last Wednesday was my last day in Practicum and I'm so thankful for that class this semester!  As I have mentioned before, I was a little terrified of 3rd grade when I got my placement in August.  I had no idea I could actually enjoy 3rd grade that much!

I've always had my hopes on teaching Kindergarten but its so good to know that if I were to get a job in a higher grade, I wouldn't be scared away!  3rd grade is such a precious age because they're still young enough to need you but old enough to be independent.  I have definitely fallen in love with 3rd grade!

When Mrs. Moore told the class it was my last day, I was instantly attacked by all 27 students.  I got the biggest hug and kids that didn't want to let go.  Then, I was asked for my autograph...you heard me right, my autograph!  Who knew I was that famous that kids wanted my autograph?!  It was so adorable.  Naturally, I signed it as Rachel Fogle and not Miss Fogle.  Oh goodness, that was a mistake!  Then the kids who got my autograph were freaking out, "I know what Miss Fogle's real name is...its Rachel!!!"  Hahahaha all of it was just too precious.  I definitely wasn't expecting to give out my autograph.

I'm so thankful for my time in 3rd grade and even more thankful for these precious children who have left such a smile on my heart!  Maybe one day my autograph will even be worth something! ;)

Namaste

I realize most of my posts are serious and everything so today will be a little more random than usual.  Today I'm thankful for yoga.  I've never done yoga before this semester but I'm so glad I took the class my final semester!  I'm getting really sad thinking about how my time in yoga is almost up.  Thursday will be my last yoga class before my surgery. :(  It really hit me today on the way to class that I have seriously enjoyed my time in yoga and I've learned a lot along the way.  I could totally sign up for a yoga class on my own and know what's going on!!!  

Today's yoga class was even more amazing than usual.  I usually can't stand Tuesday's.  Somehow they always become the worst day of my week because they're soooooo long.  I typically start at 10:00 a.m. with class and stay busy all day until at least 8:00 p.m. when Chapter is over.  This semester, getting to have yoga in the middle of my day just makes the whole day better.  Its the only hour of my day that I don't feel bad not worrying about everything else going on in life.  Today's class was no different.  As our final we had to plan our own vinyasa's (combination of yoga poses).  Lauren and Taylor did their vinyasa today and they were the first group to incorporate music with the vinyasa.  I don't know if it was the vinyasa, the music, or just the fact that I'm in need of some relaxation but it was so perfect!  After doing the vinyasa a couple times through, our professor let us hang out in shavasana (my favorite yoga pose).  Shavasana is where we just get to lay on the floor and relax, to put it simply!  Getting to go into shavasana is the point in class I am always looking forward to.  Today was just what I needed in the middle of this crazy week!  I'm so thankful for my yoga class this semester because its really taught me how to relax.  Even if it means that I need to start including yoga in my daily life, I know I have to take some time to myself and just breathe.

Here's to hoping I get back to yoga pretty fast after my ankle heals up!!

I Believe...

Today I'm thankful for Alpha Delta Pi.  

I was initiated on this day 3 years ago and I can't even believe these 3 years have gone by so fast!  So much has happened and I've gotten so many sisters in that short period of time that I already feel like its been a lifetime of sisterhood.  I realize this post might sound a little cheesy to those of you non-Greeks, but ADPi has truly shaped me into the person I am today.  While I already knew what it meant to be a sister before receiving my bid on October 4, 2009, I had no idea what it felt like to have sooooo many sisters (since God only blessed me with one)!  Today, Eta Xi Chapter has 117 beautifully unique women in our chapter and I've already gotten to see nearly 100 other amazing women graduate before me.  Before being an ADPi I only knew what it was like to be the big sister!  I have gotten to learn what its like to have a big sister, a twin, and an entire family of supporters.  I don't think I can even compare my years in ADPi to anything else!

One of the best things I've learned from ADPi is how to be a leader.  Being a leader has always been one of my favorite things in life.  I'm not saying I've always been an amazing leader but I love to learn about how to be a better leader!  I like to think I succeed when I get to be in charge and tell people what to do, its just my thing.  I'm sure not everyone who's had to take my orders would say the same thing but I just like authority.  I was Spirit Chair then Executive Vice President and now President of Eta Xi and what a rollercoaster it has been!  I'm still learning every day how to be a better leader.  My favorite line from our creed that I hold on to every day is this,

...always remembering that leadership requires confidence tempered with humility and courage blended with tolerance.

I can't tell you how much I've been learning to implement this into my life as a leader.  I will continue to live my life with this quote in mind because its just so good!!!!  And I'm sure in my days as a principal in the distant future will require me to revisit this quote even more.  

Just like with a lot of my posts on thankfulness, I'm going to attach some pictures because it just makes my blog more exciting!

Clinton 4th girls on Bid Day before we all knew we'd be going ADPi!
October 2009

My sweet family: Keri, my twin and Elizabeth, my big
October 2009

Besties before our first Semi-Formal
January 2010

Throwdown for your Hometown Crush Party
March 2010

Our first Black Diamond
April 2010

Our first Mallard Ball and the first debut of my monogrammed camo overalls!
September 2010

P3 growing since I got Lauren as my little!
October 2010

Semi-Formal
January 2011

CRABS (Callie, Rachel, Anna, Blythe, and Sarah)
80's Prom Crush Party
March 2011

Love me some Callers!  She's been by my side since our first days of messaging on Facebook to roadtripping to Camden with Sarah!  Now we're sisters and make a pretty dynamic duo as Standards and President!  I don't know what I'd do without her!
Black Diamond
April 2011

The flock!!!!
This was our original crew and big thanks to Elizabeth and Kate for introducing us to so many awesome ADPi's, seriously love them!!
October 2011

Lucia is the definition of a sister!  I don't know where I would be without this girl, but she's got a whole blog post coming just for her!
Semi-Formal
January 2012

You gotta love Exec!  At least I do :)  I don't know how I would have gotten through this year without these girls and I'm so thankful I've gotten to serve next to each of them.
Bows and Beaus Crush Party
March 2012

Again, my little Lucia!  I just love this picture of us so I had to include it, duh!
Black Diamond
April 2012

Oh, just me and my sisters in Barbados!  I had to include a Barbados picture with the lion!!!
May 2012

This is my family at the 90's Mixer.  We've since added two new additions but we're a little slack and haven't taken a real picture yet!  I love them so much and I'm so happy I get to be the greatgrandbig even though it makes me feel ancient!
August 2012

I'm so thankful for these girls right here who have been my besties since the beginning.  I'm so happy we get to be sisters and best friends!  And this is when we were finally reunited after Abby and Taylor were Pi Chi's for what seemed like 12 years!
Bid Day
October 2012

So three years later I'm still ecstatic that I get to be a member of the Eta Xi Chapter of Alpha Delta Pi.  I'm so blessed to get to serve as Chapter President. Some days are harder than others but I know I'm learning about myself through it all.  My favorite part of the job is getting to be a supporter to my sisters.  No matter what that entails, it always keeps me on my toes.  Of course my least favorite part of the job is having the be the bad guy sometimes but its just preparing me for my teacher days!

Happy Veterans Day!

Happy Veterans Day!

Today I'm thankful for the veterans who have served our country.  I can't imagine the work that the men and women of the military do.  I know I'm not made for the military so I thank our veterans even more!  

Two of my favorite veterans are my grandfathers!  My mom's dad, Russell Haines, was in the Navy.  He was even at Pearl Harbor when it got attacked!  My dad's dad, Govan Fogle, was in the Army.  Both of these men spent many years in the military to ensure that we get to keep our freedom and I couldn't be more proud to call them my grandfathers.  I didn't get the privilege of knowing Grandpa Haines because he died 6 months before I was born but I did get to know my Papa for the first 8 years of my life.  The work they did will forever make an impact on my life and others!

Thank you veterans for all you've done and all you continue to do each day!  We will forever be grateful.

Dear Ole Wonderful Dad

For the blog post I was supposed to write yesterday, I'm thankful for my Daddy!

Yesterday was my last Father Daughter Tailgate and I'm so happy my dad got to be here with me!  Today's post I get to brag about my daddy because I'm so thankful for him!  If nothing else, this will show just how goofy my dear ole wonderful dad is...and yes, that's what we call him (or what he calls himself!)

Just me and Glenn back in the day.  Growing up I was always more of a Mama's girl and my sister was more of the Daddy's girl but that definitely didn't last forever.  I'm so thankful for the relationships I have with my mom and dad and I'm so thankful that they're different from each other.

Awwww, aren't we just the cutest little family you ever did see?!  This is probably the most serious picture you'll see of my dad on this post!  We've been close from the start and we've gotten even closer as the years go on!

Yup, here's my dad being a goof ball.  It looks like he's even trying to throw up the diamond but this was before my ADPi days so I don't really know what he was doing.  My dad's sense of humor is like no other.  I don't even have the words to describe it but I'm learning every day that I have his sense of humor.  I definitely find myself making jokes that only my father would appreciate and then just laughing to myself because I know no one will quite get what I was trying to say. (just like my dad hahaha)

World's Best Father, y'all! This is actually Sarah's trophy from winning Miss Yellow Jacket but look how proud he is!  My dad is so supportive of my sister and me.  We know he would have loved a baseball player or a star quarterback but instead he got two sassy cheerleading sorority girls.  Sarah enjoyed sports a little more than I did but for the most part he's had to put up with 21 years of recitals, cheerleading competitions, plays, and sorority functions!  What a trooper!  I'm sure its not easy being the only male in the household, but he keeps smiling so that's all that matters.

This is me and my dad in San Francisco after my freshman year.  I would say it was between my senior year in high school and my freshman year of college that my dad and I got so close.  Senior year was a struggle in the Fogle household and it forced our family to get closer than we ever had before.  That meant my dad embracing 24 hours a day of in-laws and dealing with lots of emotions that went along with the situation with Nana and Laura.  I don't think any of us involved would have categorized this as easy, but my dad did it with the rest of us by his side.  I think one of the first moments during this time that I knew we were really getting closer was when I was nominated for Homecoming Queen.  I came home to tell my dad the news and my dad said, "You better not make me cry, now!"  My dad hasn't ever been a man of many tears (unlike my mom and I) so I didn't think much of this.  However, when he found out I was indeed Homecoming Queen, he couldn't help but to cry!!!  I loved this so much.  He was just so proud of me and didn't even care that he was crying, what a man!  (Boys, take note!)  So that was the first time.  The next truly defining moment in my mind was the fall of my freshman year.  I was still dating my high school sweetheart who had gone to school in Pennsylvania.  I wanted to go visit him on Fall Break and my parents wouldn't let me go alone due to the long drive.  My dad took it upon himself to take off work and road tripped with me the 10.5 hour drive up to Bucknell.  We bonded a lot in those 21 hours in the car as well as the weekend at Bucknell.  I'm so thankful for that road trip and that time we spent together.  We still talk about the trip and all the fun we had!  While there have been many many moments in my 21 years, those two stick out to me and reminded me just how much my dad loved me!      

 

Oh, just the usual Christmas morning around the Fogle household.

Typical...Mama and I trying to look cute and my dad making a funny face.  I wish I had more pictures of all the facials he used to make especially when Sarah and I were cheering!  He would love to make up his own facials and really show us how its done.

Hahahaha no words.  Love this man!

 

Daddy with his girls.  Again, he's making a crazy face but I warned you early on that there wouldn't be many serious faces.  He's so proud of Sarah and I and makes that so apparent in his life.  But we're the lucky ones because we have two awesome parents who love us and would do absolutely anything for us to be happy.

Daddy jumping on the technology bandwagon.  My family isn't much for knowing what's going on in the world of technology.  I get many phone calls of "How do I do this again?" or "Where did you say that file was?" or even "How do I fix my printer? I swear its broken!"  I bet you didn't know I was so good with computers, ha!  My dad started a project during the fall of 2009 to transfer all of his dad's picture slides into digital files.  Its been a long process that I've helped him through but I'm so happy to report he got the hang of it.  He's still not the biggest fan of much technology but I'm trying.  I still haven't won the battle of getting him to switch to a digital camera but now that he has a digital camcorder, maybe he'll make the big switch soon!  (Keep your fingers crossed.)  As much as my dad might not enjoy technology, it sure does liven up my life getting to help him out!

There they are, my biggest supporters on Homecoming.  I'm so happy God has blessed me with such awesome parents who believe in me.  My mom and dad have stuck by my side through thick and thin and I could never thank them enough.  So this year when I called my dad, I asked, "Hey Daddy, what are you doing on October 13?"  He said, "What's that, a Saturday? I'll probably be working in the yard or something?"  I said, "Nope, you'll be escorting me for Homecoming!! I get to represent ADPi!!!"  He said, "You're not going to make me cry or anything, are you?"  I didn't win this time but getting to have him by my side meant the world to me.  He still shed a tear or two but shhhh don't tell. :)

And now for all of the Father Daughter Tailgate pictures through the years...

Sophomore Year

Junior Year

Senior Year

I think one of the things I love most about my dad is that he just gets me.  He knows what to bring up and what not to bring up.  He knows when my heart is broken or when I'm having a rough day and I need to go on a Daddy Daughter date.  (And yes, we still go on those even though I'm almost 22.)  I hope I get to have those until my daddy's old(er) and gray(er).  He has always supported the boys who make me happy even if they're total losers.  He has always supported my dreams even if it means I'll be a broke teacher with 20+ snotty nose kids as he would say.  He cheered me on as a dancer and a cheerleader instead of the all star athlete.  He knows when to leave me alone because I'm about to lose my temper that I got from him.  He always knows how to make me smile and I love him so much for that!  I'm so thankful I got so lucky to get such a great dear ole wonderful dad!

Thankful for the Doctors!

Today I'm thankful for the doctors in my life.  

I seriously can't even count how many different doctors I've seen this year.  I saw three following my car accident for my back, 2 doctors before referring me to the endocrinologist, 4 doctors for my ankle, and I've been sick a lot so a couple random doctors here and there.  Needless to say, its been a year full of lots of doctors.  I'd say some days I'm bitter that I have to go see another doctor for another problem.  However, today I'm thankful for the doctors in my life.  

I had a check-up with my endocrinologist, Dr. K this morning.  If you remember she's my precious Iranian doctor whose English isn't the best, but she's a sweetheart.  My check-up was all good, she just wanted to run some tests to make sure everything was still the same.  

While I was getting my blood work done, I remember just how much I love the blood work lady.  Again, if you remember when I had to get 3 hours of blood work done before they could diagnose me with anything, this is the same lady who did all my blood work that day.  She's soooooo adorable!  You know those days where people just can't tell you enough good things?!  Today was one of those.  The precious blood word lady, wish I could remember her name but it doesn't matter, she's still awesome!  Anyways, we got to talking while she was getting everything together about if I was going to the USC game and I reminded her I went to PC and we had our own game this weekend.  Then she kept telling me I was a beautiful young lady and how pretty my blue eyes were.    Then she asked how old I was.  I said 21 and she said, "Oh my!  You are going to make such a beautiful bride one day!"  My response of course was, "I have to find someone to make me their bride first!"  She said, "Oh Miss Rachel, don't you worry, he's going to find you!"  She kept reassuring me that God had a plan and to just wait!  I realize this conversation was totally random and this lady doesn't know much about me besides what I'm getting my blood work done on and the generic things that have come up in our few conversations, but whoa, talk about making me feel better about life.  All I need are some reminders every now and then of who is really in control.  

So most days I can't stand the doctor visit after doctor visit but today was so reassuring.  Not only did I have a pretty painless doctor visit with a precious woman but then I got to have more reminders of how perfectly God is taking care of me, I just have to wait and see what His plans entail.

"Oh Miss Rachel, don't you worry, he's going to find you!"

Home

Today I'm so thankful for home.

I had to come home for my appointment with the endocrinologist tomorrow and while I may not even be here for 24 hours, I'm so thankful that I have such a wonderful home to get to come to.  I wish I could stay longer but I got to spend some time with my parents tonight and it was much needed!  

One of the best parts of being home?  I get to be lazy and not think twice about it.  And I get to sleep in my big comfy bed!! I love home.

Keep me in your prayers as I go back to Dr. K tomorrow!  This is just a check-up to see how I'm doing with my medicine and everything!  And I get to tell her I've lost 17 pounds!!!!!!!!! God is too good to me :)

Thankful for Student Teaching

Yesterday I received my placement for student teaching and I'm soooooo excited!  I'm so thankful that I get to be in Kindergarten at Plain Elementary for student teaching next semester.  

We got our whole big binder full of all the goodies we'll need for next semester.  School starts January 2 so I get to move back super early and get started with the kindergarteners.  Oh my goodness, I'm going to have so many great stories!  I just can't wait to get started.  I'll be going to meet my teacher and students next week, hopefully.

I can't believe student teaching can be here already.  I don't think I should be this close to the real world.  I don't think its hit me yet that I only have 2 weeks of classes left and then my last exams everrrrrrr (until I get my Master's but that's not anytime soon).  EEEEEEEKK!!! I can't even control my excitement.  I can't wait to see what all God has in store for me and I'm so thankful for everything He's provided me with so far.

Worn

I don't know how to put into words what I'm thankful for today but I'm very thankful my dear friend, Miranda Burr showed me this song.  Worn by Tenth Avenue North couldn't explain how I'm feeling about life any more than it does right now.  As silly as it might sound, I'm so thankful to have songs that I can relate to.  So check this song out, its awesome!

I think my favorite line is... 

"You can mend a heart that's frail and torn." 

There's so much to be thankful for in that phrase alone.  

God's Peace

I've been trying to figure out all day what I'm most thankful for today and I figured it out.  God's Peace.  I feel like I'm in the middle of a storm but God's peace is saving me.  I don't know when this wonderful peace stepped in, but I'm so appreciative of it lately.  While I've never been so stressed in my life, it doesn't show on the outside.  All I can do is thank God for His wonderful peace that He has given me!

John 14:27

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let you hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 16:33

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  Against such things there is no law.

I pray that God's peace is working in your life just like it is in mine!  I'm so thankful for that feeling of peace, especially in life's biggest storms.

Thankful for my Mama!

Today its a no-brainer what I'm thankful for.  While I'm thankful for my mom every day, I'm especially thankful today.  Like I mentioned last week, its a difficult time right now and my mom fully understands that and supports me in every way possible!  

My mom took a couple hours out of her super busy Sunday to come and spend time with me because she knew that's what I needed most right now.  My mom made my apartment and some friends baked ziti, salad, big and buttery's (just for London), and banana pudding!  I don't think I realize how much I miss home-cooked meals until I finally get to eat a real meal.  She didn't get to stay long but just getting to sit down and enjoy my time with my mom made me appreciate her so much more!  She spent as much time driving as she did to actually be here but she sees no harm in that.

I love my mom so much!  I hope I can be as wonderful of a woman, wife, and mother as she is!  I know she doesn't get enough credit for all that she does, so I'm going to take this post to brag about how awesome she is.

My mom loves my dad so much!  They've been married 24 years and still going strong!  She has shown me a real love that doesn't give up even when tough times come their way.  She even puts up with how picky he is.  And they're still pretty cute, too!  

I've always been a Mama's Girl so I had to throw in a picture of us from back in the day!  I got to be the lucky first child, and what an angel I was!  That's how I got the nickname Rachel Angel! :)

She wouldn't be a good mom if she didn't put Sarah and I in matching Lion King outfits!

My mom has slowly become the matriarch of the family over the past 4 years and its been so rewarding to watch, not easy but definitely rewarding getting to look back and see how things have changed!  She takes care of everyone in this picture just to count a few of the lives she's touching on a daily basis.  There are many great women in this picture but I know in my heart they wouldn't be that way without my mom.

The relationship I have gotten to witness between Mama and Nana is one that I try to mimick between my mom and I.  They've been honest, best friends, and they always put their relationship as a priority which was obvious to me even from a young age.  My mom and I are best friends and I hope our relationship can be this beautiful when she's in her 80's and way past that!  My mom does so much for Nana and Aunt Laura and still has such a heart of gold!

I don't believe any relationship should exist without laughter and especially the relationship between a mother and daughter.  My mom is always making me laugh whether she's making weird accents that all sound the same, creeping on a certain someone on Facebook, or just trying to cheer me up.  She always knows how to make me laugh and if nothing is working, she isn't afraid to look a little crazy in the process.

One of my favorite things about my mom is that she knows me so well.  That hasn't come from her just being super psychic, its taken a lot of hard work!  She knows what to say, what not to say, how to say it, and definitely how not to say it.  She knows that something being "fine" is in no way good enough!  She continues to get to know me better and better.

My mom is my biggest supporter.  This was from the ADPi Mother/Daughter Tea and it has reigned true for every event in my life, especially while I've been President of ADPi.  My mom will do anything to be here for support!

My mom is an angel and I'm so lucky she gets to be my mom.  I'm so thankful for my mom and the impact she has on my life.  She has raised me (with my Daddy, of course) to be the woman I am today and I wouldn't want to claim anyone else as my mom.  I strive to make her more and more proud each day.  I know she will always stick by my side and be my best friend and for that I am so thankful!  Thank you God for such a wonderful Mama!!!