Extra Thankful this Thanksgiving

In case you don't already know, I luckily had the opportunity to come home for Thanksgiving this year.  Since March, I've been preparing myself to spend Thanksgiving working in Orlando some 500 miles away from those I love with tens of thousands of strangers.  That was the plan and unless a miracle happened, that's what would be happening this Thanksgiving.  Just a couple weeks ago I texted my sister/partner-in-crime to ask if I should come home and surprise Mama and Daddy for Thanksgiving.  Of course there was a big "if" standing in my way...it would only work out IF my schedule allowed.  I got my schedule two weeks ago and had the usual Monday and Wednesday off.  I updated Sarah on my schedule and started prowling for someone to give my shifts to.  I knew I would need to give away Tuesday and Thursday to make it worth it, even if it meant driving on Thanksgiving.  First I gave away Thursday then Tuesday and I even found someone to give Friday to!  It was so hard keeping this secret from my parents since we talk almost every day.  Every talk I'd have with my mom, she would be in tears asking if the Mouseketeeria would be serving me a Thanksgiving dinner on Thanksgiving.  And after my mom put up the Christmas tree without me (first time that's ever happened), she was in more tears about how I wouldn't get to see it until January when I come home.  Little did she know she would be the one serving me a Thanksgiving dinner and I'd be seeing the Christmas tree soon!!  

I drove home Monday without much traffic, if only I'd be that lucky when I drive back, eeek!  I wanted to walk in to my parents getting ready for dinner but it had been a crazy day for my mom so she was out running errands.  I was at Target wasting time until she got home...and then she decided to come to Target!  Luckily Sarah was on the phone with her when she pulled in the parking lot and I had to make my way out of the store without seeing her!!!  I sat in my car waiting for her to leave the store so I could follow her home and surprise her!  (That's the creepiest I've ever felt hahaha!)  While I thought about surprising my mom IN Target, I figured too many tears would be involved to be in a public setting.  So finally I made my way home.  I had an elaborate plan but figured walking in the door would shock them just as much!  I pulled in the driveway with my lights off so I couldn't blow my cover at the last minute, opened the garage, ran up the steps and tried opening the door.  My key was struggling and wouldn't open the door but my mom heard something and saw the light on in the garage.  She asked my dad, "Glenn, did I forget to close the garage?"  As she opened the blinds, guess who she saw?!  MEEEEEE!!!!! She instantly screamed, "What are you doing here?!" Cue the tears!  My dad was still trying to figure out what was going on, I think, but made his way to the door!  We all cried and cried!!  I've never wanted to be home hugging my Mama and Daddy so much.  Of course one of the first questions was, "So how long are you staying?"  My original answer was to leave on Friday but asked my mom if she'd like me to see if I could give my Saturday shift away, so I did!!  I lucked out with a 6-day mini vacation that I couldn't be more thankful for!  Most of my friends at Disney didn't get this opportunity nor do they live close enough to just drive home, so I can't be feeling anymore thankful!

Even though I had been telling myself since March that working on Thanksgiving instead of being with my family would be okay, I knew it would be very difficult!  Thankfully, my family will be at Disney with me for Christmas so we don't have to worry about anymore holidays apart!  As it got closer to Thanksgiving, I realized just how badly I needed to go home this Thanksgiving if it was at all possible.  I guess you could say Thanksgiving's aren't always the happiest in the Fogle house.  My mom's worst car accident happened the Tuesday before Thanksgiving when I was in elementary school, I lost my best friend the Saturday after Thanksgiving in 7th grade, and then there was the Thanksgiving Break-up of 2009, a couple Thanksgiving's with Nana's progressing Alzheimer's, last year's ankle surgery was days before Thanksgiving, and all those memories were topped off with my sweet Nana going to heaven last year.  So while my family is such a thankful family, you could say we've had some painful and difficult holidays.  However, when we all get together, we couldn't be more thankful for our time together!  This year was no exception and I honestly can't think of a time where I've felt more thankful.

Going into my adventure at Disney, I knew big lessons would be learned.  One of the biggest I've learned so far has to be thankfulness.  While its very hard to be thankful daily in my job, getting this opportunity to come home and reflect reminds me just how thankful I am for everything in my life!  I am so very thankful for my family!  They are the core of who I am and without them, I'd be nowhere!  Im' thankful for my sweet friends spread out across the whole country!!  Knowing that no matter where I am, I have people who love and support me makes life so much more enjoyable!  I'm so thankful to have a job, even if it wasn't what I would have chosen for myself.  I'm thankful for the adventure I'm still living out in Disney World, and thankful I still have about a month left to ride out this dream of mine!  Who knew dreams could come true?  If nothing else, I'll never stop dreaming and following my dreams!  I'm thankful for so so much in my life right now and I know I wouldn't be who I am without the love from the Lord above!!  He is far too good to me and I can't complain!  The best feeling of all is when I fall asleep at night thanking God for all He has blessed me with and the list just goes on and on and on!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!  This Thanksgiving has reached a whole new meaning of thankfulness!

What's Next?

It's that question people couldn't help but ask throughout my senior year of college, and I suppose it will be the question that's always asked.  What's next?  What are you doing after this?  So, what's next?  Hmmm...good question! 

Last spring when I found out I was accepted into the Disney College Program, I had an answer for everyone's questions.  I didn't have to worry.  I had a job, a place to live, and something to do with my life!  Granted I didn't know where my job was at and I didn't know where I'd live or who I'd be living with, but I knew it would all be provided for me in time.  I knew I wouldn't have to worry about what's next until January 3.  To top it all off, I was getting to live out a dream of working at Disney World!  I came into this experience thinking I would stay at Disney forever.  I left Irmo in August thinking I'd never live there again.  Honestly, I had every expectation to be a Disney Cast Member until I retire and I was so excited about this being the opportunity that opened that door!  I knew that I was made to work at Disney World and in my mind, nothing was going to stop me.  If you know me at all, you know I'm a planner and the plan was to complete my program in January and soon after start a Professional Internship that would hopefully land me a job in May.  While I applied for some Professional Internships when the applications came out in September, it didn't take long for me to realize my heart wasn't in those internships no matter how much it made sense to just stay one extra semester.

To say this experience didn't turn out to be what I expected is an understatement.  I have been looking forward to doing this program for 10 years since I stumbled upon the DCP website in 2003.  The expectations and hopes that you create over 10 years can easily be shattered by the reality of the hard work that comes with this program.  I'm not even entirely sure what all I anticipated on happening, but I know this experience is nothing like what I was expecting at any point during those 10 years of dreaming.  I was given the role of Quick Service Food and Beverage and placed at the Columbia Harbour House.  To say that wasn't the role I was hoping for is definitely an understatement.  I have experience in food and the last thing I wanted was to work at a restaurant again...even if it was at Magic Kingdom.  

The first month of work was good.  Yes, there were hard days, but I didn't ever let them get to me.  In my mind, I was still planning on having that Cinderella story of working my way up from the very bottom.  I just kept reminding myself that one day this would all make for a great Disney story.  (All the Cast Members high up have one!)  I told myself that I was there to prove how hard of a worker I was and that the day would come where I wouldn't have to do anymore trash or deal with hungry, complaining guests...and it would all be worth it in the end!  Like I said, the first month was great!  Everything was good and nothing could stop me from living out this life-long dream!  Shortly after being here for a month, the reality set in.

Hi, my name is Rachel and I work at Walt Disney World, the one place I've always wanted to work.  I have a college degree and I'm supposed to be a teacher right now and yet here I am taking out trash, dealing with disrespectful Guests, and working at the bottom of the totem pole.  I am a teeny tiny fish in this humongous ocean that is Walt Disney World.  And although I love people more than anything in this world, I've developed a strong dislike for the human race based on the people I deal with on a daily basis.  And to think, I work at the Happiest Place on Earth...in the Magic Kingdom for goodness sake!

That's my mentality.  That's what I feel every day.  I'm at the place I've always wanted to work and yet I can't wait to leave this place most days.  Most of my days are far from magical and the only reminders that I work in Magic Kingdom are the hilarious Disney outfits, swarms of Brazilian tour groups, outrageous numbers of Mickey ears, and tons of Guests with celebration buttons.  The thing I love most in this world is people and I work in a park with 50,000 new people daily!  You would think I would be on Cloud 9 getting to talk to all of these people from around the world.  Instead, I've kind of lost my hope for humanity.  I don't see manners, I don't hear "thank you's", I hear screaming, I see parents who hit and kick their children, I see disrespect, I hear complaining, and I don't like any of it!  Its all negative and I can't stand it!  These aren't the people I love.  These people don't have any love in their hearts, and if they do they're doing a really good job of hiding it.  I'm the girl who always smiles and some days its hard to smile!  I'm optimistic and yet I can't seem to find the positives in this day-to-day life.  Where's the magic?  Where's the happiness?  How can people be so mean at Disney World?  I've had Guests yell at me, argue with me, literally scream in my face, and I have even had a child spit on me.  And while I can't wait to be an educator and I pride myself on being able to discipline children, I especially can't handle it when I find myself in a position of wanting to discipline a child because his/her parents don't know how to.  Don't make me discipline your child!!  Do you let your child run circles around your dining room table?  Why should they run around mine?  Do you let your kids stand on chairs and sit on your kitchen table?  Why would you let them sit on ours here?  I know you don't let your children run around like wild animals at home so why is it they get to at Magic Kingdom?!  All of these questions will never be answered and I'm okay with that but I knew not long after starting this job, this wasn't the place for me.  The biggest problem is...

I don't love who I am here.

I've never felt like this.  I loved PC and all that it was for me.  I loved my life at PC!  Between ADPi, Admissions, being a CA, my best friends, my sweet residents, the incomparable community, and the love that is at PC, there were never days of doubt that I was in the wrong place.  I loved my summers at Lake Junaluska and I loved the person I get to be at the lake.  I love getting to tell youth how awesome Jesus is and I love the life they can fill a room with!  I love getting to see Jesus at work and I never doubted my place while working at Lake J.  But here is different.  I don't love me here.  I know I can't stay here because I can't be the best me that I can be while I'm working here.  And that's the most disappointing realization I hope to ever have!  The one place I've always wanted to be is just no good for me!  Why is this so different?  I don't have my family, my church, or my community.  I have some friends and I enjoy the people I work with but nothing can compare to the community I had at PC or the loving family that misses me at home or the awesome church family I have at Union UMC!  Nothing can compare with the community who made me who I am.  And I want nothing more than to be back in Irmo and get back to being the me that I love!

While its somewhat relieving to know that I don't belong here and that I do belong somewhere else, its so heartbreaking at the same time.  I remember standing in front of Cinderella's Castle during Wishes when I came to Disney World for Spring Break of my freshman year of college.  With tears running down my cheeks, I dreamed to one day work here.  Its that same feeling I get every time I watch Wishes when I realize this is my wish coming true!  I'm literally following my dream.  All those Walt Disney quotes about how fun it is to do the impossible things the rest of the world tells us we can't do, I'm living them out!!!  And now I'm leaving.  I feel as if I'm letting myself down, as if I'm giving up on my dreams, as if I'm going back to doing what the world says I should do and forgetting what I want to do.  That's the biggest battle I have with myself.  Am I giving up on the one thing I've always wanted to do?  Quite possibly, yes.  But I have to pray that this is the right thing.  I pray that this gut feeling I have that this is not where I belong is true.  I pray that God has bigger and better dreams for me, I just haven't discovered them yet!  I still have big dreams as far as being a teacher and one day being a principal!  I just have to get out of Walt Disney World and into the world of education before those dreams get to become a reality!

So, what's next?  January 3 I'll make my voyage back to Irmo, South Carolina, the sweet town I miss so much.  The town where I can get anywhere I want within 10 minutes and not have to worry about toll roads, traffic, or being on the wrong side of the median.  I'll be in the town where I know where everything is, and I know all the back roads to take me exactly where I want to be.  Irmo is where my heart is for sure, not Orlando!  I'll be reunited with my loving Mama, my funny Daddy, and my best friend of a sister.  I'll get to see my sweet Aunt Laura and I'll get to worship at my favorite church in the world.  My friends will all be within driving distance (except for my bestie Taylor in Phoenix!) and for the first time in months, I don't have to automatically exclude myself from any plans my friends might make!  I'll hopefully be substitute teaching in my home district, the district that raised me, and the district that I hope to be teaching in come August.  After January 3, I don't have a clue what exactly my future holds but I know who holds my future!  I'm so thankful for this experience and I know its such a "God thing" as my mom would say that I'm even here living out my dream!  I know for a fact that I would have regretted not doing this program, so know that I am still so grateful that this was even an option for me!  I'm so thankful for this time and the many lessons I've learned throughout my 5 months here.  (Brace yourself for a funny blog later about all the funny things I've learned while working at Disney!)  While its my daily goal to be more and more thankful to the Big Man Upstairs for bringing me on this journey, some days are harder than others!!  But I am so very thankful that He has a plan for me and that He knows where I belong!

Homecoming

Its been the one thing I've been counting down to for months...PC Homecoming!!  The first day I could request time off at Disney, I put in for PC's Homecoming weekend knowing that I couldn't miss my first Homecoming as an Alum!  Not to mention this would be my first opportunity to see most of my friends since June/July!!  I decided to make the most out of the weekend and make it last as long as possible!  I always have Monday's and Wednesday's off and got approved for Friday-Saturday off as well.  All I had to do was give away my Thursday shift and I magically had a 6-day mini vacation to South Carolina lined up!  Wednesday I drove home stopping at the first Bojangles I could find!  (Sorry I'm not sorry...)  It had been over two months without Bojangles and that's just something I never want to happen again hah!  I made it home in 7 hours which was great timing considering I stopped twice!  Wednesday night was spent at home with my sweet parents.  Thursday I went out to lunch at DiPrato's with my mom, one of our most favorite lunch date spots!  Then I made my favorite stops around Irmo knowing it would be a while before making it back!  While I've learned my way around Lake Buena Vista/Orlando in my almost three months here, its always nice to go home and know exactly where everything is and not have to worry about silly toll roads getting in your way!  

Seriously, home has never looked so good!  Especially with the leaves in the yard and the fall air!!

I headed up to PC Thursday afternoon to make it in time for Zumba with Lucia!!!!!  I walked in Springs and had people running up to me from all different directions.  Seriously the best feeling ever having people so excited to see me!  It was a night of hugs and a full heart!  I made some stops around campus to my favorite people just getting to catch up on life!

My favorite people still at the Presby!

Friday came and brought Anna with it!  We went to one of our favorite lunch spots in Clinton, Jitter's for a lunch with sweet friends!!  Finally got to see Abby too and catch up on all the adventures life has brought us since this semester started!  I couldn't be more proud of my besties and the work they're doing these days!  We saw even more people at lunch and I got lots of "Wait, you're not supposed to be here!"  Such a good feeling being back in a community that loves and cares about me so much!

Jitter's!!!

This is seriously my fave sandwich...and one of the things I crave when thinking about South Carolina food!

After lunch, Anna, Abby, and I headed over to see Mani and Grace's house!  Seriously still mind boggling they're busy being married adults and I'm just playing at Disney World most days!  But it was awesome seeing their humble abode.  We made stops at the bookstore (to stock up on Alumni stuff, duh!), picked up our official Homecoming Weekend packets (hah!) and Bi-Lo for tailgating food!

Getting so official!  And I got a free koozie and a nametag I never put on!

After a busy afternoon in Clinton, it was time to head towards Greenville...TO GET MY TATTOO!!!!!!!!  Can't even tell you how excited I was!  I'm not usually someone to get nervous so my excitement was pretty huge!  Altogether, we were probably in the tattoo parlor for 30 minutes.  We walked in, met Jamie (the tattoo artist), showed him what I wanted, he drew it out, shrunk it down, fixed it up, and we got to work!  I had 7 of my sweet friends there to cheer me on and I think most of them were more nervous than I was!  Lucia was holding my hand and squeezing my hand!  She kept reminding me that I could squeeze hers...but I didn't see a need haha!  There were times that were unpleasant like at the bottom of the tattoo where my nerves are in my foot but the top half was fine, no pain!  Also my friends didn't believe I had a high pain tolerance...I don't know what it will take to make people believe me when I say that?!

Jamie getting my ankle prepped

The "unpleasant" look

So in case you don't know...which apparently a lot of people don't...I've literally always wanted a tattoo!  I don't remember a time not wanting a tattoo, it was just a matter of figuring out what I wanted and where I wanted it so I could still get a job!  After my ankle struggles last year, I had decided this was what I would get and I knew my right ankle was the perfect location seeing as that was my ankle with all the problems for half of 2012!  I decided on the tattoo in the summer and my sweet grandlittle Jamie told me I needed to be settled on the tattoo for a year before getting it, and it'd been over a year and I figured I needed to bite the bullet and do it!  Homecoming weekend couldn't have been a more perfect time!  So what is it?  Well its an anchor with a heart on top and this comes from my favorite Bible verse:

"There are three things that last forever:  faith, hope, and love.  But the greatest of these is love."  

1 Corinthians 13:13

The faith is represented by the cross in the anchor, the hope is the anchor itself  (Hebrews 6:19 says "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure."), and the love is represented by the heart on top of the anchor and its on the top because its the most important!!!  This is my absolute favorite Bible verse and I can't think of anything better!  I'm still so obsessed with it!!  Can't stop looking down at my ankle for this constant reminder!

Thanks Jamie!!!

After leaving Ink Works, we headed to dinner in Greenville before heading back to the Presby for the night!

Before going out with my bestiessss

Only my fave roommate in the world

While at the houses, I saw Lauren Park aka Lo from my first summer at Lake J!  She's best friends with a bunch of ADPi's and came up for Homecoming with them!  It was so fun watching two worlds collide and so fun getting to see an old friend!

Chidapi til we die!

Saturday it was time for the game!!!  It was kind of depressing knowing this was my ONLY football game of the season!  I don't remember the last time I've only been to ONE football game in a year...maybe some time in middle school?!  Yikes!  Well before the game, my friends and I had our first tailgate planned all by ourselves!  Usually we have parents at the games who will plan everything but this was our first time as alum!!  

As I was getting everything set up, guess who I saw?!  SARAHHHHHHH!  MY SISTERRRRR!!!!  My friends surprised me and they got me good.  I had figured I just wouldn't get to see Sarah on this trip home since she had a busy weekend and I wouldn't be driving past Greenville, but she surprised me!!!  Keep in mind, I've only been surprised ONCE before this and this just rocked!  I was in tears as I hugged my sister and can't even express how thankful I am for such a loving sister in my life!

Mimosasssss at the tailgate

Before the game, I knew Maggie and Lucia were in Top 5 and figured they would place Runner-Up and Homecoming Queen between the two of them so I made sure to get my picture with them both before everyone else in the world would!  So thankful for my favorite seniors!!!

My Queens

With precious Grace...who needs to stop growing up ASAP!  But loved getting to spend the day with the Carson's!

And the Homecoming Queen is.....Maggie Carson!!!!!

And my favorite Runner-Up is...Lucia Leahy!!!

After the game, we all went to Senor Garcia's...only my favorite Mexican food in Clinton!  Sarah had to leave after dinner but we snapped an Irmo picture before she left...of course!

Pinkies up!!

Can't leave without a cat picture. 4 generations of cats!
#catraining

Saturday night was fun...especially seeing all the old people at the houses for Homecoming!  Now that I'm one of those old people, its super weird!  It was extra weird walking around and seeing so many people I didn't know.  At PC, you know everyone so seeing freshmen who had no idea who I was was a weird feeling.  

Sunday morning I said goodbye to Clinton with breakfast at Bojangles and then I was Irmo bound yet again.  As much fun as I had this weekend, the goodbyes just make everything more complicated.  Starting on Saturday, I started getting really sad about having to say goodbyes to all my favorite people.  Its one of those times that's very hard for me to live in the moment because I know that goodbye will be here sooner than I know it!  I only wish my time at PC could have been longer but it's always good to know I will feel like home in Clinton!  

I swear the skies are bluer and life is sweeter here!

I drove back home, down that strip of I-26 I know so well, to surprise Aunt Laura (and see the rest of my family)!!!!  My mom made chili, our usual Halloween tradition, and got to see my favorite people.  We spent the afternoon out running errands, ending with a stop at Starbucks!  Again, the sadness was sinking in of saying my goodbyes but I tried and tried to stay positive!

It's funny (or not) because when I left in August, I didn't shed much of any tears at all in my goodbyes!  I was excited more than anything and couldn't have gotten out of Irmo sooner!  Now that I have to think about not seeing any of my family for almost two months, things get a little more difficult!  I don't get to come home for Thanksgiving and my family will be in Orlando December 21.  I'm trying to remind myself this will be the only Thanksgiving and Christmas that I'm away from my family, but it doesn't make the sadness go away.  It will be 2014 before I'm back in Irmo and with my family again!

  I learned some important lessons this weekend in catching up with people...

1.  Lots of people keep up with my Disney adventures which I totally love!  People continually referenced my pictures, statuses, snapchats, and blog which totally rocks!

2.  I'm really good at making my experience seem really awesome and wonderful!  Don't get me wrong, my time at Disney is a great experience but no where close to perfect.  There are hard days and I don't love what I'm doing every day.  Before leaving for home, almost every day had been a pretty bad day so staying positive was a little difficult throughout the weekend!

3.  I long for the community I left at PC!  I don't know if there will ever come a day where I get to feel that sense of community I felt as a student at PC.  Its something that really can't be matched.  I know forever and ever, I'll try to create a community that can live up to my days at PC, but those are some pretty big shoes to fill!


I couldn't be more thankful for my time at home and I look forward to seeing my friends and family again!  I'm daily trying to live in the moment and appreciate this experience!  While every day isn't magical, I have to remember this is a job and its at the Happiest Place on Earth!!!  Forever and ever I get to say that I worked at Disney World and I never want to look back and regret how I spent my time here.  If you would, keep me in your prayers for a positive attitude and a thankful heart during my last two months as a colonial woman and I just need continual guidance as to what to do after January 3!  Thanks for following my adventures!! :)