Procrastination at its finest...

As if you couldn't tell by now how good I am at procrastinating, I'm pretty darn good at it.  I think I've always always always procrastinated.  I remember even in 4th grade procrastinating on a book report.  Even then my mom would say, "Rachel, don't procrastinate or it'll follow you your whole life!"  I think it must be in my blood because I've never stopped.  Of course procrastination now is much worse than those 4th grade days seeing as I have much more work to do now.  I decided what better way to put off my work that to blog about how I'm putting off my work?  Haha, it works for me!  We are on day 2 of exams here at the Presby and I still haven't had an exam yet.  I have one tomorrow and one on Friday.  I figure since I have to stay until Saturday anyways for CA duties, it doesn't really matter when my exams are.  I think I'm still in denial that its even exam week.  This year has seriously flown by sooooooooooooo fast!  I don't know where the time has gone.  I've been getting so sad that its the end of another year.  Like the next time I come to PC, I'll be a senior!  What the what?!  This isn't happening.  Even though I'm sad my time at PC is going by fast, I think I'm more sad that my year with the freshmen is over.  

See its a funny story...my freshman year I wanted to live in Belk, the all freshman girls dorm, but I got put on Clinton 4th.  It was just 20 of us all sharing the same bathroom and boys had lived there the year before so it wasn't the best of living conditions.  I couldn't have asked for a better hall my freshman year.  Aside from the fact that our RA ran away first semester, we had a pretty ballin' hall!  Some of us were even joking during the housing lottery that maybe we should move back up there for senior year!  So freshman year turned out great even though I wasn't in Belk.  

Sophomore year, I was applying to be an RA and I wanted to be with the freshies.  I asked for Belk but I got my 3rd choice, Laurens (an upperclassman very small dorm).  Most people don't even know Laurens exists.  It only houses 24 girls.  My roomie and I were 2 of the 5 sophomores in the whole building.  Everyone else was older than me. :(  I did end up getting RA of the Year, but I just wanted to be with freshmen since the upperclassmen didn't want to listen to someone younger than them.  Also, it was really hard to develop community in Laurens because we were just about the randomest group of girls you could have put together.  

So for my junior year, I wanted to live in Grotnes, where all my friends wanted to live.  I was being selfish but I just wanted to get to be with all the other girls my age unlike my first two years at PC.  What placement did I get? BELK!  Of course.  Third time's a charm, right?!  Haha, wrong!!! I was beyond mad that I didn't get Grotnes and that I was going to be in the freshman dorm.  But within an hour or so I realized that God wouldn't have placed me there if I wasn't supposed to be in Belk.  So don't you know I'm that junior that's living in Belk for the first time with all these freshmen I've come to love so much!  It was ironic that the day I got my placement was also the day I headed up to Lake Junaluska last February for my interview weekend.  Carolyn, Director of Ministries with Young People, aka my boss lady, asked me about the RA position and I explained to her my frustration and she reminded me that that must be where God wanted me for this school year.  

Carolyn has also been reminding me lately that God won't give you more than you can handle, and He won't leave you alone to handle it.  While I always try to remind myself that God won't give me more than I can handle, I'd never reminded myself that He's not going to leave me hanging either.  Of course I knew this, but I needed the reminder! :)

I knew all summer that God was preparing me to be in Belk.  I was leading small groups all summer and felt like God was preparing me to start a Belk Bible Study, so I did.  I started praying for my residents back in February before most of them probably even knew they'd be coming to PC, much less where they'd be living, or who their CA would be.  I prayed all summer for these girls and got super super super excited to be in Belk.  Most people don't realize this isn't what I wanted but I couldn't say thank you enough to the big man upstairs for putting me in this position!  I'm definitely not saying its been easy because its been hard, very very hard.  I've dealt with serious issues like sexual violence, the loss of a parent, the loss of a friend, girls questioning their sexuality, remembering loved ones who have already passed away, and girls questioning their faith to name a few of the subjects I've covered this year.  I've also had lots of haters, surprise surprise!  Most mornings I wake up to some type of profanity drawing or cussing on my dry erase board on my door.  I've had to be the bad guy more than I've wanted.  But I've built a lot of great relationships with my residents.  Such good relationships that my couch quickly became the "Couch of Tears" as I call it. Girls would just come in, even if I didn't know them well, and just burst in tears.  While I cry a lot, I've never really had to deal with so many other people's tears, especially girls I didn't know very well.  My couch was home to many tears, many more movie nights, and many of nights where I fell asleep and didn't quite make it to my bed.  The Couch of Tears left two weeks ago and it was soooooo sad.  I realize I shouldn't be that sad about a couch leaving but it really added character to my room from 1975 with bright orange carpet and all.  Over the past two weeks, girls have walked in and just stopped in their tracks because they're so used to seeing my couch sitting there.  I seriously wanted to cry putting my couch into storage.  I feel like this year my girls have become my little babies.  I feel like a mom and all my kids have finished their first year of college.  I've gotten to see them mature and learn all the tough lessons you don't want to see anyone have to learn.  I've seen heartache, happy times, and some really sad times.  All in all I've grown with them throughout the year and I got to use my past experiences to try to help them.  I am so thankful for my year in Belk.  I've learned so much about myself and about others.  Its been the hardest year of college but my favorite by far.  Thanks to all my freshies for an awesome year! I'm going to miss them so much!

On another note, keep my mom in your prayers.  She had surgery this morning for her Achilles tendinitis and a bone spur.  She's got a 10 week recovery starting with 3 weeks of not being able to put any pressure on her foot.  If you know my mom, you know she's never one to just sit!  She's always going going going and sitting and taking 10 weeks off from work and life will be hard.  Pray for a speedy recovery and that the surgery works just the way its supposed to and in 10 weeks she'll be pain free forever!!!!  Also if you've been praying for me, thank you thank you thank you!  I'm still waiting on results but I'll keep you updated with my blog.  

Love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll leave you with a new favorite song of mine...